Ghost : Exodus by Lea Tonin1 |
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence. Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language. Sitting, staring down past my PC contemplating my navel, I'm wondering how to write the struggle to get out when so much was an unrecognizable blur, so much was darkness.
I looked over to the many pieces of jewelry I had created. Pendants, rings, bracelets and necklaces each different from each other. Well, if I can do that then surely I can write the next events with some acuity.
Taking off the pen's leash now...lettin' her rip.
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From where I was standing, I picked a point in the direction I thought to go. One that was visible to my eye as I walked.The reason is that once I reached that point I would pick a new point visible to my eye and so on.Hopefully, it will reach a major trail. It all seemed so reasonable to me.My nerves were shot, and my panic sat just outside my peripheral vision but my senses were all firing.A plan, even if it was just spot to spot plan, was essential to keep the panic at bay.My choice was a reasonably intact Sequoia as my first target. I began to climb over bushes on top of tree limbs, over logs and pushing branches out of the way as I went when I spotted something orange.Pushing the limb aside there it was. A can of Alpha Ghetti. Its blue and orange label smiling up at me.One of two I had remaining from my Alpha Ghetti caper. I was grateful to see it. I didn't know how long it would take me to get out of here or if I could. But, I had my water jug and a can of food.The impetus to move forward. I carried on like this for what was to be a long trek out.I deliberately kept my mind on a single task at a time. From one spot to the other. If a person looks at a mountain meant to be climbed, climbing that mountain seems like a monumental task.But, if we take one step at a time, one task at a time, before you know it, you're at the top of the mountain.That's what I tried to do. Don't think about the big picture in something like this. Think about the here and now. One step...one task. While I was taking one step at a time. I wasn't paying attention to my feet if that makes any sense. One foot fell through a pile of branches I was climbing over. I could feel it scraping as it went down like I didn't have enough of those. Gingerly trying to pull my foot out again, it caught on something heavy, hard and unmovable.I thought, "Well, it got down there. It's gotta be able to get out."I slowly turned my foot from one side to the other and at each turn, I gently pulled until finally, my foot popped out with a couple of branches wrapped around my ankle.I didn't want to look. It hurt. I felt fabric tearing a warmth and a slightly sticky feel. There would be not much I could do about it in my current situation But if I had to, I could rip a portion of my shirt. I looked to see if I needed a stitch or not. I think my whole body was screeching at that time. By then I had more scratches, scrapes and cuts than unscathed skin. Looking at my ankle, I noticed. I ripped my the West side team and inside. That team was sticking out a sharp, splintered piece of wood. I knew it was stuck in my foot. I could feel it think away so I pulled it out. What more can you do? I got a grip on it and I pulled it out as quickly as I could. Some bruising on my knee and cools forming from the franchise that had wrapped around it. But it could be worse, it could be broken. We can't be doing that.I stood up and kept trudging along as best as I could for as long as I could and still no major trail.I couldn't be that far off. Could I?The sun was tiptoeing towards the horizon as if the day was a shy maid. As the dusk settled, I knew I was hopelessly lost. I should have hit some trail by now. Walking farther would be foolish because tonight is just around the corner. I mean, It's already a mixed-up world.It's a really bad idea to try and do it in the dark. I smashed open the can with a nearby not-so-sharp rock. I chose to eat only half the can and save the rest for breakfast. I set the can aside and placed a large rock on it so it wouldn't be grabbed in the night.I chose a significantly larger pile of debris burrowed within and pulled up all the leaves that I could around me. After a few minutes, I was surprised at the warmth it was generating. Not very clean mind you, but it did keep warmth inside. How I longed for a full stomach a hot Bath, and a real bedBut what I wanted most of all was someone to care. Someone was hugging me and telling me everything was gonna be okay. The girl in me was still there the adult in me struggling to come out. But too soon.Much too soon to be a grown up. The strain showed on my face and body. I was not as strong as I was. My strength was not what it was. I could see the sticks that made up my body and knew there was nothing left to spare.But it was not time for weakness and weakness could not be my excuse fir inaction.There was no alternative at all. I had to get out or I would die here."Please God," I said, "This can't be all there is. There must be some purpose for me and for my sisters, too. A method to the madness."I saw no answer to the unanswerable.The hopelessness of my situation caught up to me and so I cried watering the leaves and the debris around me and I asked again."Please God...send some light "*****************************
So vivid is my memory of that night. So close to my demise, I was.
I am thankful again for the events that brought me here alive and through the chaos.
For the miracle of acceptance and the gift of belief.
Did Santa show up?
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