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LorDee (Loralie DeSilva) = Presidential hopeful
Ned Nuckledd = Vice Presidential hopeful (with LorDee)
Skar = Pons' clone and campaign worker
Pons Maninoff = keeps Skar on a short leash
MauMau= media coordinator
Betty: = campaign manager
AA (Abecedari Ann) = Poet Laureate
Fox Fine: Detective
Felix Fine: Detective
Lori = Fox's girlfriend
Lowell Wrent = Fox News reporter
Bull Schlitz = Police Inspector
Lt. D'weir = homicide investigator
Sgt Linda Chin = desk sergeant
Patrolman Willy Killigan = beat cop
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Previously, Loralie DeSilva, Ned, Betty Biggins, Pons, Skar, Fox and Felix Fine, and Abecedari Ann were being detained at police headquarters as suspects in the murders of both Zora Abebe and Abracada Brah. MauMau was treated for a head wound and transported to police headquarters. Pons and Ned have been cleared, Skar and Felix Fine are behind bars, and Betty has seemingly confessed to murder.
The scene opens in the homicide office, where Lt. D'weir is receiving MauMau and four coffees.
Chin : (speaking to Lt D'weir) Lieutenant, this man is named MauMau and he has a story to tell that may affect your case.
MauMau: (frantically) I was bitten by a ghoul! A monster! A demon!
Lt. D'weir: (grinning) Was he bitten, or does that bandage cover up your police work, Killer?
Killigan : The doc at the urgent care said it was a open bite wound.
Chin : MauMau says the demon is GED. Then he said GED is a clone of --
Lt. D'weir: Nuckledd!
Killigan : (looking at MauMau and then D'weir) Yeah, for sure, but he does have a big bite out of his face.
Chin : He means one of the suspects, Willy. One of them is Ned Nuckledd.
Killigan : Oh, okay, 'cause I thought he meant --
Lt. D'weir: Bring the big guy in and set him next to Bull's office. Stay with him Officer Killigan.
Meanwhile, Inspector Schlitz, who had switched out with Lt. D'weir, sits across a table from LorDee, Betty, and Abecedari Ann.
Bull : (to Betty) Lt. D'weir says you confessed to the murders, Ms - uh - Bigguns.
Betty: Biggins, sir. Betty Biggins.
Bull : (to the others) Yous two agree?
AA : I am shocked and can't imagine Betty hurting anyone, let alone what has happened here.
LorDee : All I know is that my plans to become the President of the United States have been drastically affected by these murders.
Bull : Do yous think Peggy Pigskins here is tellin' the truth that she mutilated the victims?
AA : Her name is Betty, Inspector.
Bull : That wasn't my question.
AA : No. There is no way.
LorDee : My plans have been drastically affected.
Bull turns to Betty.
Bull : How did you kill Abrabanana?
Betty: Who?
AA : He means Abracada Brah.
LorDee : ... drastically affected.
Bull : Miss Biggins, how did you kill Abracada Brah?
Betty: I tore open his skull and ate his brains.
Bull : What's that like?
Betty: Eating brains?
Bull : No. What's it like tearing open a man's skull?
Betty lowered her head and began crying.
Bull : Why would you lie about killing someone?
Betty: (staring out into nowhere) I should be punished.
Bull stands up and leaves the room.
Bull : Weirdo, where's that coffee?
Lt. D'weir: I left two with MauMau sitting by your office door.
Bull walks to his door to find MauMau with only one styrofoam coffee cup.
Bull : (speaking to MauMau) Is that my coffee?
MauMau: No, I already drank yours. This one is mine.
Bull : (steps into his office and uses the intercom) Weirdo! Get me a coffee; turn those people in the conference room loose, except for Peggy Pigeon. She and Chairman Mao here need to see the inhouse shrink. Send someone to collect Ned Not-so-bright and put out an APB on Jed the clone.
Lt. D'weir: On it, Inspector.
Meanwhile, out on the steps of police headquarters, Fox Fine meets his girlfriend Lori.
Fox : Thanks for meeting me here.
Lori: You have a case? What's it pay? Who's the client?
Fox : We will start looking for a guy known as General Equivalency Dude.
Lori: The clone?
Fox : You know this guy?
Lori: He came from the same place that -- ah -- nevermind.
Fox : Same place as what?
Lori: I have a big mouth.
Fox : Same place as what?
Lori: The same place Felix got his clone.
Fox : Felix? Felix doesn't have a clo--
Lori: Take it easy, Fox.
Fox : Felix has a clone -- it's me.
To be continued...
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