LorDee (Loralie DeSilva) = Presidential hopeful
Ned Nuckledd = Vice Presidential hopeful (with LorDee)
Skar = Pons' clone and campaign worker
Pons Maninoff = keeps Skar on a short leash
MauMau= media coordinator
Betty: = campaign manager
AA (Abecedari Ann) = Poet Laureate
Fox Fine: Detective
Felix Fine: Detective
Lowell Wrent = Fox News reporter
Bull Schlitz = Police Inspector
Lt. D'weir = homicide investigator
PA = Physician Assistant
Sgt Linda Chin = desk sergeant
Patrolman Willy Killigan = beat cop
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Previously, Loralie DeSilva, Ned, Betty Biggins, Pons, Skar, Fox and Felix Fine, and Abecedari Ann are being detained at police headquarters as suspects in the murders of both Zora Abebe and Abracada Brah. MauMau was treated at an Urgent Care Clinic for demon bite while the police were being called.
The scene opens at the police sergeant's desk with Sergeant Linda Chin, where she is receiving Patrolman Willy Killigan and MauMau.
Chin : What you got there, Killer?
Killigan : Zombie bite, Sarge.
Chin : Of course. The moon is full so the streets are filled with lunatics.
Killigan : This one has a mouthful of forehead chomped out.
Chin : Maybe it's a knife wound, or a bullet graze.
Killigan : Doc at the urgent care says it's a bite. A human bite.
Chin : So what's the story? Where's the (air quotes) zombie?
Killigan : MauMau here says the perp is with the LorDee Campaign.
Chin : That makes some sense then. That whole horror show is up with the homicide squad right now.
Meanwhile, in the homicide office ... Pons and Ned sit across from Inspector Bull Schlitz.
Bull : (to Pons) So you're Pons Maninoff, and Scarface is your twin.
Pons : Yes and no. I am Pons Maninoff, but his name is OK. However, we decided that was too impersonal, so we changed it to the phonetic Oscar Kilo. He has since adopted the nickname Skar.
Bull : (seeming unaffected turns to Ned) So you're Ned Nuckledd, and Gee Eee Dee is YOUR twin.
Ned : Yup and nope. I'm Ned, sure enough, but my cologne GED's name is pre-nounced GED.
Bull : (to both) Alright. Yous two get out and don't leave town.
Pons : So we're free to go?
The inspector simply stares at Pons until he gets the message, nudges Ned, and they leave.
Bull : (on the intercom) Weirdo! I'm clearin' these two. Nuckledd's clone is missin; I have to suspect he knows a lot about who killed these people, but, even then, he would have to be crazy as a dung-eatin' dog to kill like that.
Lt. D'weir: Got it, Inspector. Kick the two. What about Felix Fine and the other clone?
Bull : What about 'em?
Lt. D'weir: Got it.
D'weir steps over to a room with LorDee, Betty, and Abecedari Ann sitting at a table. He closes the door
Lt. D'weir: Which one of you killed these people?
Betty: It was me.
D'weir's phone rang at that moment.
Lt. D'weir: Master of the Universe.
Chin : This is Sergeant Chin. Is that how you answer your phone, Lieutenant?
Lt. D'weir: Is it me speaking?
Chin : Okay, Dan. Look, we have a man here who says he was bitten by a demon who looked like one of the campaign workers. Someone named Jed.
Lt. D'weir: Is he manageable, Linda?
Chin : Killigan has him.
Lt. D'weir: Send them up with four coffees.
Chin : Got it.
D'weir's turns back to Betty.
Lt. D'weir: Tell me how you killed these people.
To be continued...
