LorDee (Loralie DeSilva) = Presidential hopeful
Ned Nuckledd = Vice Presidential hopeful (with LorDee)
Skar = Pons' clone and campaign worker
Pons Maninoff = keeps Skar on a short leash 
MauMau= media coordinator
Betty: = campaign manager
AA (Abecedari Ann) = Poet Laureate
Fox Fine: Detective
Felix Fine: Detective
Lowell Wrent = Fox News reporter
Bull Schlitz = Police Inspector
Lt. D'weir = homicide investigator
Zombie GED: = brain eater
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Previously, Inspector Bull Schlitz had a theory that Zora Abebe, Abracada Brah, and the missing GED may be victims of a vengeful Loralie DeSilva. Ned, LorDee, and Betty Biggins are suspects.
The scene opens with a news reporter, Lowell Wrent, making a live report from the Third Party Campaign Center, formerly the Big Boy.
Lowell : This is Lowell Wrent, Fox News, reporting from LorDee DeSilva campaign headquarters, where police investigators are searching for the perpetrater of at least two grisly murders. Former third party hopeful Zora Abebe, and longtime political dirty tricks professional, Abracada Brah were discovered murdered in what the coroner has described as, and I quote, "an F==ing bloodbath!"
Fox : (to Felix) Are you all right, Cuz?
Felix : I feel all kinds of stuff, Fox. I am heartbroken that Zora has been killed. I didn't know her well, but we clicked right away. I could imagine the two of us making it for a year or more.
Fox : A year?
Felix : Sure. I think you could have stood me that long.
Skar: I still can't believe that Abrabanana is dead.
Pons: I don't understand how anyone could think Ned would harm a fly.
MauMau: I will destroy whoever is responsible for Queen Zora Abebe's demise.
AA: Poor Betty. I don't see why they suspect her.
Fox : I'm just spitballing, but I figure since Miss Biggins and Ned were canoodling, and they think Ned knows something about GED's disappearance, she was lumped in.
Felix : The poor woman. I may need to comfort her when they jail Nuckledd.
Skar: Do you even remember her name?
Felix : No time for quizzing now, Ponsclone. I'm grieving.
Pons: I guess I should call our lawyer.
MauMau: I believe I will be addressing Betty's needs soon. This experience has drawn the two of us closer, and I feel quite protective of her.
AA: I feel a poem coming on.
Fox : What about? Will it be politics? Will it be romance? Murder?
AA: Perhaps we could all write one together..
Felix : I'll start: There once was a man from Zimbabwe who parked his car in my driveway this deal got old so I had him towed
and also had him deported. Hey!
Skar: You're a poet and you don't know it, but your feet show it. They stink like your poems.
Pons: You people are ridiculous. There are dead people, friends in the hands of the police, and --
MauMau: GED!!
Everyone looks to the left where Zombie GED enters walking slowly and muttering.
AA: GED! Where have you been?! What is that red mess all over you?
Fox : Oh my god! Is he covered with blood?!
Felix : Did he sleep in his clothes? I've seen substitute school teachers look less unkempt.
Skar: What have you been doin', Dude? You look like the loser in a cherry pie eatin' contest.
Pons: He looks sick and injured. He needs medical attention.
Felix : BETTY! Her name is Betty!
To be continued...
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Author Notes
Image from Google
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