FanStory.com - The Riskby Lea Tonin1

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To trust or not to trust Age 14 & 15
Ghost
: The Risk by Lea Tonin1

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.

My PC calls to me again...a silent whir of impatience coming from behind the screen.

The unstoppable wave of memory is pouring through and there's no choice but to write.

So I sit here negotiating with despair saying "There's no place for you here now."

The fog clears...cursor blinks. Saddle up...another rodeo begins.

*****************************

I peeked out from behind the trunk of a large tree and looked down both sides of the pathway. I saw no one. I jumped out of the bush and brushed myself off.

I raked my fingers through my hair, took a deep breath and prepared myself to walk out of the forest to the nearest phone booth.

I rehearsed in my mind what I was going to say and how I was going to say it a hundred times and never sounded right.

I didn't want to sound like a whiny, crybaby. But at the same, I didn't want to sound like I had all the answers either...I don't.

I was afraid of not being believed again or looked at as if I had some kind of mental illness.

On shaky legs I continued the walk, familiar clean smells of the forest around me.

It wasn't too long before I saw a phone booth sitting on the street corner in front of a store.

I juggled in my mind as to which friend was likely to be home. It was a coin toss but I couldn't spare the coin.

I dialed...a woman answered and I asked to speak to my friend. "Sure Lea," she said.

Quickly, my friend came to the phone. " Where are you man, your Dad just keeps saying you're out." "I am out. Just not where you think" I said tiredly. "Can you pick up our mutual friend and meet me at the park? It's important."

I told him which park I was at and to meet me at the main entrance. "One more favor? Can you please bring something to eat? Maybe a drink?" "Sure," He said. "He's not home until five. We'll come after. Sure you don't wanna tell me what's up?" "When you get here...hey...thank you." I hung up and breathed a sigh of nervousness. Now comes the hard part...being vulnerable once again. I had some time to think on the way back.

I tossed around ideas like; keep walking east until I can't walk anymore. Lie about my age so I could work. Panhandle.

Perhaps better just to lie low and stay where I am for a while. I reached the park entrance sat down on a log and waited for my two friends. I leaned back to sip the air and get a taste of the cleanliness and freedom of it.

The whisper of pine needles and the pungent scent carried with them cleaned my senses. I slowly turned my mind back to the job at hand.

While rehashing ideas in my mind, I saw a black blur whizz by my head. Instantly I cowered, threw my arms up over my head, bowed my back and then I realized.

It was a large black bird....just a stupid fucken bird and I was a puddle!

Fury raged inside of me angry tears rolling down. Mad at myself that I was so easily frightened! Angry also at the need to hide.

I couldn't go back, I'll never go back and I couldn't spend my life cowering from every movement around me!

Dusk was beginning to surround me. Forest arms reached out to caress me welcoming me back to the cradle. Finally, I saw my two friends rounding the corner of the park entrance and in their hands was a pizza and a six-pack of pop. My stomach rolled and growled just at the sight.

"Hi, guys. Follow me."

***********************

Grainy eyes...like a pound of sand got dumped in them. I picked up my pomeranian and began to scratch her ears...

My one friend who is always glad to see me. No matter what I've done or said...

That's my girl...

Author Notes
This story is part of an ongoing auto bio I'm writing called "Ghost" which is located on my portfolio. Feel free to read with a cautionary note some parts are hard to read. Reader discretion is advised.

© Copyright 2024. Lea Tonin1 All rights reserved.
Lea Tonin1 has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Be sure to go online at FanStory.com to comment on this.

I peeked out from behind the trunk of a large tree and looked down both sides of the pathway. I saw no one. I jumped out of the bush and brushed myself off.

I raked my fingers through my hair, took a deep breath and prepared myself to walk out of the forest to the nearest phone booth.

I rehearsed in my mind what I was going to say and how I was going to say it a hundred times and never sounded right.

I didn't want to sound like a whiny, crybaby. But at the same, I didn't want to sound like I had all the answers either...I don't.

I was afraid of not being believed again or looked at as if I had some kind of mental illness.

On shaky legs I continued the walk, familiar clean smells of the forest around me.

It wasn't too long before I saw a phone booth sitting on the street corner in front of a store.

I juggled in my mind as to which friend was likely to be home. It was a coin toss but I couldn't spare the coin.

I dialed...a woman answered and I asked to speak to my friend. "Sure Lea," she said.

Quickly, my friend came to the phone. " Where are you man, your Dad just keeps saying you're out." "I am out. Just not where you think" I said tiredly. "Can you pick up our mutual friend and meet me at the park? It's important."

I tossed around ideas like; keep walking east until I can't walk anymore. Lie about my age so I could work. Panhandle.

Perhaps better just to lie low and stay where I am for a while. I reached the park entrance sat down on a log and waited for my two friends. I leaned back to sip the air and get a taste of the cleanliness and freedom of it.

The whisper of pine needles and the pungent scent carried with them cleaned my senses. I slowly turned my mind back to the job at hand.

While rehashing ideas in my mind, I saw a black blur whizz by my head. Instantly I cowered, threw my arms up over my head, bowed my back and then I realized.

It was a large black bird....just a stupid fucken bird and I was a puddle!

Fury raged inside of me angry tears rolling down. Mad at myself that I was so easily frightened! Angry also at the need to hide.

I couldn't go back, I'll never go back and I couldn't spend my life cowering from every movement around me!

Dusk was beginning to surround me. Forest arms reached out to caress me welcoming me back to the cradle. Finally, I saw my two friends rounding the corner of the park entrance and in their hands was a pizza and a six-pack of pop. My stomach rolled and growled just at the sight.

"Hi, guys. Follow me."