|
Zora Abebe = Presidential hopeful
Skar = Pons' clone and Vice Presidential hopeful (with Zora)
Pons Maninoff = keeping Skar on a short leash
MauMau= Zora's campaign manager
AB (Abracada Brah) = Zora's Dirty Tricks Coordinator
LorDee (Loralie DeSilva) = Presidential hopefulj
Ned Nuckledd = Vice Presidential hopeful (with LorDee)
GED: = Ned's clone
Betty: = LorDee's campaign manager
AA (Abecedari Ann) = LorDee's Third Party Poet Laureate
DED: Agent of Death
D-red: Agent of Death for vermin and insects.
-------------------------------------------------------
Previously, D-red had some effect on the campaign personnel which made everyone belligerent. LorDee belittled Pons and AA, and Zora and GED were verbally abusive to each other. Betty and Pons have locked on workers in all fifty states and MauMau is tasked to break up a budding romance between Ned and Betty. Ned has had a close call with DED and is somehow still affected by it, as no one can see or hear him.
The scene opens with all the characters hitting each other with three-foot long pool noodles.
Zora: (shouting) Keep it up!
Skar: Whose idea was this?
Pons: Since everyone has been acting so mean to each other, I asked a friend of mine, who's a marriage counselor, for some help.
MauMau: So now we attack each other with pool noodles.
AB: You call that an attack? You hit like a girl.
LorDee: You, of course, mean Wonder Woman.
AB: Exactly. MauMau hits like a woman.
Ned: Can't nobody hear me?
GED: Ned? Hey, Ned! Where have you been. Hey look everyone. It's Ned!
There is no reaction from anyone.
GED: What is going on, People!
Betty: Has anyone seen GED?
AA: He was just here a moment ago.
GED: I'm right here, Ann.
Ned: I kin hear ya, GED.
GED: Ned! Where have you been? What's going on?
The others continue hitting each other with floatable tubing as Ned and GED move to center stage.
DED and D-red enter from the left and meet with Ned and GED.
DED: (greeting the men) Hello, Gentlemen.
D-red: (greeting the men) Turds.
DED: I have been on the horns of a dilemma lately and have finally come to a resolution.
Ned: (making a pained expression) Garsh, DED. That musta bin a afaw esperints.
GED: He means experience.
D-red: Yeah, we talk Ned. It's like hiccuping when you have a headache and constipation while falling down a flight of stairs.
DED: I was using a cliche, Ned.
Ned: Oh, okay. Long as ya had some kinda pertection from them horns.
GED: Why can't people see or hear us?
Ned: I kin hear ya, GED.
DED: There is a problem I must solve right away.
Ned: GED's purdy good at rithma-tic. He knows jom'try, elg'bra. and fizzeliks.
Ned and everyone else freezes while DED comes closer to GED. D-red wanders among the frozen people.
GED: Is this what I think it is?
DED: I am afraid so.
GED and DED exit to the left. D-red hurries out behind them. Then everyone is reanimated.
Zora: Look, it's Ned.
Skar: Wow! It's like you just APPEARED!
Pons: Hey, Cuz! Where have you been all this time?
MauMau: I'm sure you had a life or death situation you were dealing with.
AB: You seem pale, like a ghost.
LorDee: I am so glad you are back, Ned.
Ned: I was -- gone?
Betty: Yes, Ned. It seems like a lifetime.
|
