Skar = Pons' clone and Vice Presidential hopeful (with Zora)
Pons Maninoff = keeping Skar on a short leash
MauMau= Zora's campaign manager
AB (Abracada Brah) = Zora's Dirty Tricks Coordinator
LorDee (Loralie DeSilva) = Presidential hopefulj
Ned Nuckledd = Vice Presidential hopeful (with LorDee)
GED: = Ned's clone
Betty: = LorDee's campaign manager
AA (Abecedari Ann) = LorDee's Third Party Poet Laureate
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Previously, Loralie DeSilva and Zora Abebe had to run as President/Congress and Supreme Court Chief Justice respectively. LorDee is considering dumping Ned for GED as her VP.
Ned is seeing Betty Biggins, a campaign manager, who is working with MauMau to establish the political party. MauMau is also tasked with ending Ned and Betty's relationship.
Pons and GED are getting testy over plans to dump Ned.
The scene opens with Skar and Abracada Brah squabbling over a three-dimensional, life-size Big Boy statue. All other characters are postioned around the stage.
Skar: This old Big Boy sculpture will fit nicely in the front seat of my car.
AB: Desperate for a date?
Skar: This will allow my access to the High Occupancy Vehicle lane.
AB: Which one of you will be driving?
Skar: Me, of course. Big Boy is a lifeless statue, and you will be clutching to life in the trunk.
AB: Are you threatening me?
Skar: Do you feel threatened?
AB: Answer my question.
Skar: I'll be driving.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the campaign center.
Pons: I have established contact with volunteers in twenty-five states. Each will develop a central authority in their respective state and find volunteers to do polling and gather signatures.
MauMau: How is that possible?
Pons: Running for President is old hat for Ned and me. We have a large contingency of workers all ready to go.
MauMau: What about the other half of the country?
Pons: Ned has taken the reins on that and tells me he has Rhode Island locked on.
MauMau: I can certainly surpass that tiny result.
Pons: Do you have contacts in New England?
MauMau: What about Old England?
Pons: Are they Americans?
MauMau: No, Britanicans.
Pons: Yeah, tell you what Mauz; I will get Betty on that, and you can schedule some speaking dates.
MauMau: Got it!
Across the room, Betty and Ned sit on folding chairs. Abracada Brah walks up and sits down.
Betty: (to Ned) There is a special showing of 'From Here to Eternity' at the Bijou Theater tonight.
Ned: Really? So how far do we go after we leave the bee shoe?
AB: (overhearing) Ha ha ha! Ned, you are sooo stupid!
Betty immediately walks over to Abracada Brah.
Betty: (to AB) Shut your mouth Hocus Pokus before I shut it for you!
AB: I wasn't talking to you --
Betty quickly jabs her index finger in AB's mouth, grabs his cheek, and pulls him off his chair and to the floor. She then 'pants' him.
Betty: Poof! DISAPPEAR!
AB jumps up and scurries off.
Ned: I thank ya fer steppin' up fer me, Betty, but I kin take a litta ribbin'.
Betty: That was not ribbing, Sweet Ned. That was snake venom.
Ned: Ya know, I hear that sorta thin' all the time.
Betty: (giving Ned a quick peck on his lips) Now you will hear the truth.
Ned can only stare at her before trembling and tearing up.
