Excellent a scene with Pons and Ned Scenes at a Third Party : Scene at a Third Party 7 by Bill Schott

Zora Abebe = Presidential hopeful Skar  = Pons' clone and Vice Presidential hopeful (with Zora) Pons Maninoff = keeping Skar on a short leash  MauMau= Zora's campaign manager AB  (Abracada Brah)  = Zora's Dirty Tricks Coordinator LorDee (Loralie DeSilva) = Presidential hopeful Ned Nuckledd = Vice Presidential hopeful (with LorDee) GED:  = Ned's clone Betty: = LorDee's campaign manager AA  (Abecedari Ann)  = LorDee's Third Party Poet Laureate  ------------------------------------------------------- Previously, Zora Abebe and Loralie DeSilva have their respective campaign staff and affiliates meet at an abandoned Big Boy Restaurant. After internal conflicts break out, the candidates for nomination decide to speak directly to the assembly    The scene opens in the restaurant with the principals LorDee, Zora, Ned, and Skar at the center, and all others pressed around facing in from their respective sides.       LorDee : (addressing the crowd) Faithful followers listen as I would like to be elected as your next president to show you and I --(aside to Betty quietly- But mostly me--)  -- can rule this land. We will be the impartial judges (judge) and jury (just me, really) for all matters foreign and DaSilvan. No Congress to stall on important issues for partisan benefit,  or a SUBreme Court filled with empty robes posturing for power. WE -- the people -- will do all of that on my own.   Left side Crowd:  YAY!!! LORDEE!!  LORDEE!!  LORDEE!!   Right side Crowd:  BOO!! RIDICULOUS!!    Zora : (stepping in front of LorDee) I will be your first female black president to show the world how to run a nation. We will ensure reparations are paid, and people-of-color step around, instead of aside.  Women in general will be freed of the bondage of male elitism.     Left side Crowd:  BOO!! RIDICULOUS!!    Right side Crowd:  USHINDI!! VICTORY!!   Ned :  (to Skar) Folks is soundin' real positival about the candledate they're wantin'.    Skar  : There is a division here that will have to surmount a millennia of suppression.    Ned :  The Good Book says if ya got the faith of a custard seed you kin move surmountains.   Skar  : (pondering Ned for a moment) Well -- if that is what it says.   LorDee : (to Zora) Here's the deal. I will give you the Supreme Court and two free passes on Boardwalk if you drop out and let me lead this party to victory.   Zora :  (to LorDee) Are you blind and deaf?    LorDee : (to Zora) I use reading glasses, but I can hear your chances swirling down the proverbial commode.    Zora :  (to LorDee) That is the actual toilet flushing behind that wall.   MauMau: Oh, is that where the toilet is? (runs off into the crowd)   GED: (to Pons) This will be rich, Pons. I have just come from the facilities where I evacuated a bowel that was accompanied by a fleet of adoring stench. The restroom should probably be taped off. MauNow is presently entering that very chamber.    Pons : That bad, huh?   GED: He may make it to the porcelain bowl, but his next stop will be the tile floor and the arms of Morpheus.    Pons : Maybe I should warn him.   GED: By now he IS the warning.   LorDee : (to Zora) The Supreme Court and four justices of your choosing.    Zora :  (to LorDee) That would only make five.  Why so few?   LorDee : (to Zora) After a day you will wonder, Why so many?   Zora :  (to LorDee) That's intriguing. But I really want to be called Madame President.   LorDee : (to Zora) I have a phone number for you. They will call you whatever you want.    Zora :  (to LorDee) I feel like I'm caving in too soon.   LorDee : (to Zora) Too soon would have been before we had to endure this Big Boy fiasco.    Zora :  (to LorDee) Fine! I'll concede the race for third party candidate to you.   LorDee : Great! Let's make it official.   Zora :  Fine.   LorDee : (to the crowd) People! Beautiful people! We have an announcement for you.    Off to the side of the scene, Ned is talking to Betty and Abecedari Ann.   Ned :  Hey, ladies. My cousin Pons says I oughta find me a nice girl ta talk ta and maybe git ta know better.    Betty:  Are you asking me out on a date, GED?   AA  : This is Ned, dear, not GED.   Ned :  I'm what GED calls his Auntie Seed'nt. He's a bit off on our durationship.   Betty:  Antecedent? He is your clone?   AA  : GED is Ned 2.0   Ned :  There wernt no Ned one point oh, so I guess that makes me jus zero.    Betty:  Oh, Ned. You are so charming. I would be delighted to go on a date with you.   AA  : Ned, you have inspired a poem from me.     Ned, Ned, your name is Ned Ned is your name, not Frankie or Fred. GED, GED your clone is GED, GED is your clone, not Spanky or - uh - Fred.  Fred, Fred, your name's not Fred. Fred's not your name, because it is Ned. Ned, Ned, your name is Ned Ned is your name, Neh-ed Nuck-a-ledd.   From the center of the scene.   LorDee : (to the crowd) People! Beautiful people! We have an announcement for you. Zora and I will represent you together within the government. Together we will bring our third party to the American people as THE alternative to runamuck liberalism and do-nothing conservatism. WE will give the people the path forward. WE, together, will shoot an arrow to the sun and bring the new light of day to the world. Today! People of the future! Raise your voices and shout -- WE ARE NEXT!   Across from left to right down stage, MauMau is pushed on a gurney to the opposite exit.         To be continued...   Author Notes Image from Google ushindi = victory in Swahili Poem is a parody of My World is Blue.

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