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Zora Abebe = Presidential hopeful
Skar = Pons' clone and Vice Presidential hopeful (with Zora)
Pons Maninoff = keeping Skar on a short leash
MauMau= Zora's campaign manager
AB (Abracada Brah) = Zora's Dirty Tricks Coordinator
LorDee (Loralie DeSilva) = Presidential hopeful
Ned Nuckledd = Vice Presidential hopeful (with LorDee)
GED: = Ned's clone
Betty: = LorDee's campaign manager
AA (Abecedari Ann) = LorDee's Third Party Poet Laureate
C1 (LorDee Campaign Aide 1)
C2 (LorDee Campaign Aide 2)
C3 (LorDee Campaign Aide 3)
C4 (Zora Campaign Aide 4)
C5 (Zora Campaign Aide 5)
C6 (Zora Campaign Aide 6)
DED = Angel of Death
D-Red = Angel of Death for Insects and Pests
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Previously, Zora Abebe and Loralie DeSilva have their respective campaign staff and affiliates meet at an abandoned Big Boy Restaurant. Everyone is jammed in tight and Abracada Brah, LorDee's dirty tricks director, has his henchmen pantsing people in the crowd.
This scene opens in restaurant with people shouting and cursing from within. LorDee, Skar, Pons, and Betty come in from stage right.
LorDee : (hearing the commotion and seeing the mass of people undulating) Now what!?
Skar : Looks like people are being caught with their pants down.
Pons : Literally!
Betty: I hadn't planned on improvisational occurrences like this.
LorDee : I will need to speak to Zora immediately. Maybe we can salvage this free-for-all.
Skar : How about Pons and me go talk to MauMau about this?
Pons : Sounds like a winner.
Betty: I should come with you.
LorDee : No, Betty. I need you to come with me.
Betty: Yes, your majesty.
LorDee : (grins) Oh, Betty. You are a treasure. Let's go.
Pons : (speaking to Skar) So, do you think MauMau is behind this?
Skar: Actually, if I wasn't here with you, I'd think it was me.
Pons : Are we not upset?
Skar: Well, sure -- officially. The guy we really need to see is that Brah dude. This has his fingerprints all over it.
Pons : (pointing to the other side of the room) I see him over there. What are we going do?
Skar: He will need a beat down either now or in the near future.
Ned, Zora, and MauMau burst from the crowd. Both men are adjusting their trousars. Zora appears fresh and kempt.
Zora : What type of lunacy has taken hold here, MauMau?!
MauMau : We have obviously been punked by LorDee's despicables.
Ned waves a fist and makes a mad face.
Zora : But half of the people here are hers.
MauMau : Insanity knows no boundaries.
Ned makes a swirling finger motion at his temple, crosses his eyes and sticks out his tongue.
Zora : Do you really think she is crazy.
MauMau : She's running for President. Of course she is. We all are.
Zora : (smiling) I like being crazy, MauMau.
MauMau : Crazy is where it's at.
All three chuckle as over their heads, C1 bounds from within the crowd to the floor. He is followed by C4 in the same manner. The other four campaign staff members (C2,3,5,and 6) are pushed through the crowd perimeter by Pons and Skar. The six henchmen drop to their knees.
LorDee and Betty join Zora and MauMau off center of this display.
Abracada Brah enters from the opposite side.
AB : What is going on here?!
GED and Abecedari Ann appear from out of the crowd. She slaps AB's face as GED pants him. As he reacts and pulls up his pants, facing GED, AA kicks his rear. Turning to her, she slaps him as GED pants him again. This actions continue as the three move out of the scene.
LorDee: What on earth is happening?!
Skar: These yahoos were causing the ruckas.
Pons : Zora's dirty tricks czar jumped the shark and sent his crash-test dummies in to create havoc.
Zora : Can someone interpret that for me?
MauMau : Sounds like Brah might have a separate agenda than we do.
Zora : Yes -- continue.
Ned: I degree wit Pons, Miss Zora. Yer dirty car jumped the shark test gummies, cried havov and then let them slippery dogs a war crash inta a -- uh -- agender.
Zora looks at Ned for a moment, then turns to MauMau with eyes and mouth agape.
MauMau : (speaking to LorDee) Can I borrow Betty for a bit?
LorDee : Betty? Work with MauMau, please.
Betty: Yes, your mmm -- Yes! Of course!
As everyone disappears into the crowd, DED and D-red enter from each side and meet in the center.
DED : I will be on my way for now. One of those henchmen and a rather flat fellow on the cub outside will be going with me.
D-Red : I still have a train-load of dead bugs to collect.
DED : I understand they will be spraying for bugs again tonight in preparation for Kwanza.
D-Red : Sure -- of course. When it rains it -- Wait! What!? -- Kwanza?
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