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Characters
Zora Abebe = Presidential hopeful
Skar = Pons' clone and Vice Presidential hopeful (with Zora)
Pons Maninoff = keeping Skar on a short leash
MauMau= Zora's campaign manager
AB (Abracada Brah) = Zora's Dirty Tricks Coordinator
LorDee (Loralie DeSilva) = Presidential hopeful
Ned Nuckledd = Vice Presidential hopeful (with LorDee)
GED = Ned's clone
Betty = LorDee's campaign manager
AA (Abecedari Ann) = LorDee's Third Party Poet Laureate
C1 (LorDee Campaign Aide 1)
C2 (LorDee Campaign Aide 2)
C3 (LorDee Campaign Aide 3)
C4 (Zora Campaign Aide 4)
C5 (Zora Campaign Aide 5)
C6 (Zora Campaign Aide 6)
DED = Angel of Death
D-Red= Angel of Death for Insects and Pests
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Previously, Ned was approached by third-party presidential candidate Loralie DeSilva (LorDee) to be her running mate. Pons had offered up his clone, Oscar Kilo (Skar), to DeSilva's main opponent, Zora Abebe, for the third-party nomination.
Zora Abebe is an African American woman running a campaign seemingly focused on people of color. Skar is her VP running mate. Zora's campaign manager, MauMau, is Afro-centric and domineering. Abracada Brah is Zora's dirty tricks guru who is out to hobble the competition. Pons, Skar's andecedent, is here to be a buffer between his clone and others. Zora's campaign aides seem to be working for the other side.
LorDee is of Portgugese descent and seems to be considering combining the judicial, legislative, and executive branches of government into one. Ned is her VP running mate. GED is her to protect Ned from being exploited. LorDee's campaign manager, Betty Biggins, is cheerful and a bit touched. Abecedari Ann is LorDee's poet laureate. LorDee's campaign aides seem to be working for the other side.
This scene opens in a defunked restaurant for a one-time meeting. People are crammed in and seem to be slow-dancing as they try moving around. Speakers eventually move to center stage.
Zora : (speaking to Ned) I am so surprised we were able to get the opponents here.
Ned : Yep. Mauzer got'm ta agree on meetin' here at the Big Boy.
Zora : Why here, though. It is hardly in keeping with the high visibility we hope to achieve.
Ned : Well, he did sorta leave the pickin' up ta me. I used ta eat here all the time wit my cousin and bestest buddy Pons.
Zora : Well, that is a bit of relief. I was fearful that MauMau had lost his mind.
Ned : Golly, Miss Z. I know I ain't the sharp-test crayon in the butter churn, but I'm gettin' the fillin' yall ain't happy wit the Big Boy.
Zora : Not at all, Ned. Your meeting facility prowess and general intellect surpass my lowest expectations.
MauMau: (sliding up from behind) This location has few positives with the exception of cost. Nuckledd got it for free for the weekend. After this meeting we will decorate the interior for the celebration of Kwanza.
Zora : The price seems right. NOTHING comes to mind when I think of it. Wait! Kwanza?!
GED appears from within the crowd.
GED : This is a get-together that is turning into a stick-together, literally.
Ned : That sounds like one a them broken ice deals.
GED : Ice breaker, Ned?
Ned : Nah, I ain't much of a drinker, GED.
GED : Right.
Abecedari Ann twists away from the crowd and approaches GED and Ned.
AA : Greeting Ned and - uh - Ned?
Ned : Howdy! Hey, GED. This here's Aberica Ann. She writes po'tree.
GED : Pleasure to make your acquaitance, uh - America?
AA : It doesn't really matter. I am merely a conduit to bring the truth of poetry from within this clutch of humanity.
Ned : If anyone CONDUIT, you kin, Annie.
GED : Ned! That was funny!
AA : Indeed, Ned. You are the man of the red earth who represents life, and love, and --
Ned : Gotta go pee. Scuse me, guys.
Ned disappears into the crowd. AA nears GED.
AA : So, you are Ned's twin?
GED : I am like a Ned two point oh.
AA : I feel a vibrant force emitting from you.
GED : I had cabbage for dinner yesterday.
AA : No, I mean you shine with inspiration.
GED : I try.
AA : (she freezes and speaks as if possessed)
There is a mouse in that mouse trap
his name was Lucky Lou,
but he ate the bait and met his fate
so now poor Lou is through.
GED : That is amazing, America. So, they have an open bar here I guess.
From stage left, Abracada Brah enters with C4, C5, and C6 (who are part of his dirty tricks team)
AB : So many horrible things to do, and so little.
C4: We need more time.
AB : Not at all, my minion of menace. Time wider than a steamroller width is a waste.
C5: We need more things to do to the people.
AB : Poppycock! My cup runneth over with foul deeds.
C6: We need more minions of menace
AB : Precisely. I have enlisted LorDee's campaign drones as well.
C1, C2, and C3 appear from the left.
AB : Splendid! What are your questions before we begin?
C1: I hear there is an open bar. Is that true?
C2: Do you think the Big Boy statue looks like me?
C3: Can we start pantsing people now?
AB : Yes, yes, and YES!
The six minions of menace disappear into the crowd. Commotions begin within the glut of humanity.
LorDee, Skar, Pons, and Betty come in from stage right.
LorDee : (hearing the commotion and seeing the mass of people undulating) Now what!?
To be continued...
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