Excellent a scene with Pons and Ned Scenes at a Third Party : Scene at a Third Party 2 by Bill Schott

Characters Ned Nuckledd = Vice Presidential candidate LorDee (Loralie DeSilva) = Presidential nominee GED  = Ned's clone D-Red = Angel of Death for Insects and Pests AA  (Abecedari Ann)  = Third Party Poet Laureate  Betty = campaign manager C1 (Campaign Aide 1) C2 C3 ------------------------------------------------------- Previously, Ned was approached by third-party presidential candidate Loralie DeSilva (LorDee) to be her running mate.  Pons had offered up his clone, Oscar Kilo (Skar), to DeSilva's main opponent, Zora Abebe, for the third-party nomination.   This scene focuses on the former's first meeting at her campaign center. People are grouped on both extremes while the speaking characters are at center.   The scene opens in a campaign room filled with people. A large banner reads:   LORALIE DeSILVA for PRESIDENT. (The last President you will ever need.)    GED: (Looking at the banner and speaking to Ned)  That sign might better read "The last President you will ever want."   Ned : I could take one a them there magical markers and cross out NEED and aplace it wit - uh - that utter word.    GED : WANT, Ned.     Ned : Oh yeah, like "Want that be a purdy picture when it's done."   GED : (grinning) Indubitably, Ned.    Ned wanders off.   Betty: (stepping up to GED) Hello, Ned. I'm Betty, the campaign manager.   GED  : Salutations, Betty; or should I call you Elizabeth?   Betty: Betty, Ned. I was named after the famous international harvester and food provider Betty Crocker.    GED  : (studying Betty for a second or two)  Of course! Excuse my ignorance. My Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben send their regards.    Betty: They are the salt of the earth.   GED  : (chuckling) Let us not forget the Jolly Green Giant.   Betty: Are you teasing me, Ned?   GED  : Not at all, Miss Crocker. Oh, by the way, I am not Ned. I am General Equivalency Dude, or GED; I am Ned Nuckledd's clone.   Betty: I thought I detected an accent. Well, GED, my last name isn't Crocker. I was simply named after her. My last name is --   GED:  Grable?  Rubble? Boop?   LorDee:  (calling from behind GED)  Biggins!   Betty: Yes, your majesty!   LorDee: (looking about) Not here, Betty.   GED:  Hi, Your Majesty. My name is --   LorDee: Ned? Why are you introducing yourself to me.    Betty: This is Ned's clone, LorDee. He's a general.   LorDee: Really? You seem young for a general.   GED:  (grinning) I was deep-selected from the Storm Trooper ranks.   Across to stage left Ned meets a young woman with a magic marker.   Ned: Scuse me, Missy. Could I burra that there magical marker fer a coupla secs?   AA:  Did you just ask me for sex?   Ned : (looking around wide-eyed) I dun think ah did, Mi -- Ma'am.    AA:  Oh you rascal.    Ned : I was jis --   AA:  You are my muse! My Clio! History!  Poetry!   Ned adopts a blank expression with open mouth.    AA:  I am inspired already.     There is a house in Old Newleans it's named One Size Fits All they make mumus and togas too next to an old strip mall.   AA:  You are a wonder, Ned.       Ned backs away then notices D-Red standing next to LorDee. He moves to the center of the scene where they are.   C1: (jumping in front of Ned, blocking his way) Greetin's and saladations, Nedster!   Ned: What? I was --   C2: (from behind Ned) We're here to be shear that you're clear on the gear to weer, dear.   Ned: Gear?   C3: (popping up from behind a table)  We need you to stay away from LorDee.    Ned: Huh?   C1:  He's thick as a brick, boys.   Ned: I'm slow ta gittin' angry, fellers, but yall are --    C2:  He's slow, guys.    Ned: (Ned sees D-Red next to GED) We're gonna hafta pick this up later, fellers.   C3: Remenber what I said, Ned.   Ned ignores C3 and moves toward GED.   Ned : Hey, Dude!    GED  : Hey indeed, Anecedant. Join the Red Death and me as we comisserate our lots in life and the afterlife.   Ned : What!? I dint know ya could see Red.   D-Red: That's D-Red to you two.   GED  : Let us call you Dirt Bag for a while; I believe we can all remember that.   Ned : I thought you only collected beetles and such, D-Red?   D-Red:  The organizers Bug-Bombed the joint yesterday. There's a semi load of fleas and bees and Pekinese under this floor.   Ned : Peek-n-what?   D-Red: Joke, Ned.   GED  : Don't let Ned nor me nor heat nor gloom of night stay you from the swift completion of your appointed rounds, Dirt Bag.   D-Red walks out of the scene. LorDee steps up.   GED  : Perhaps we could talk strategy now, Madam President.   LorDee:  Let's.     To be continued...           Author Notes Image from Google

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