Exceptional Since She Has Gone Away Love and Loss : Melancholy Me by Jessica Wheeler

Melancholy me, since Kelly's gone away Beyond the moon and sea, now gone from every day Stage by stage I've wept, but finally, I see What I must accept; a melancholy me   Happiness and joy, are never felt alone Grief means to not destroy, it leaves the undertone It’s hopeless to contest, what lingers underneath So I'll try my best, to balance in my grief    Though, I may be jaded, I've left behind denial The anger has since faded; Ive learned again to smile Since she had to leave, and I am here to stay  Forever I will grieve, my  melancholy way   Born in her last breath, to burrow into place To live despite her death, as long as I embrace For it's now mine to keep, it's just my cross to bear I've buried it down deep, but it is always there   A distant cloud that looms, in sunny clear blue skies Though never quite consumes, within all things, it lies A whisper to remind, to keep my pain intact  But this I will not mind, if I can't have her back   And though I did not choose, it's what I would prefer I cannot bear to lose, the memory of her If pain is in my heart, then Kelly, too, shall be... Because she’s just a part, of melancholy me.   Recognized Author Notes My final chapter is dedicated to my greatest loss, my little sister, Kelly. Her death has left an indelible mark on my heart and soul. After it happened, I was in a very dark place- drowning in grief. Nothing seemed to resonate with me. I read, I listened, I searched- but I constantly felt misunderstood. Then one day, my cousin sent me this video of an interview with the actor Billy Bob Thornton. In it, he spoke about losing his own brother. His words were candid... they didn't contain some big profound reveal. They were really rather simple. But it was the first time since Kelly died, that I felt understood. He captured exactly what I was feeling, but hadn't been ok enough yet to articulate. It's the first time I heard "it's ok to never get over it". I needed that hope. This poem was inspired by what he said in that interview.

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