Wild West tales told of nineteenth century
Outlaws were in and out of penitentiary
Stories of western region lawlessness
Fail to confess what's west of west U.S.
No need for pistols they follow the law
Sketches and water guns are what they draw
Treated like kings, horses like it here best
If you need rest, come to the Mild West
No dueling in conflict, they settle by vote
Outlaws steal cookies but leave thank you notes
The guilt ridden robber pays back what he takes
With interest and thanks, he returns to the banks
When Jesse Tames and his gang ride into town
Everyone in the saloon gets a round
Green tea for all, because they don't shoot whiskey
Jesse gets frisky, so whiskey’s too risky
Tamer than tamest outlaws of the West
Fashion sensed Earp brothers dressed in their best
Although their outfits are loud, Can't deny it
Virgil and Wyatt are really quite quiet
Of all the nice folk living in Mild West
He'd rather makes friends over making arrests
When they made this Sheriff they sure broke the mold
His heart, I'm told, is the town’s only gold
Out in the land of the chill, meek, and mild
Billy The Kid is an actual child
Why get all rowdy when folks need their rest
West of Wild West, a place called Mild west
