Excellent but not close enough close shave by SimianSavant Write A Rant contest entry

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language. my ex-boyfriend was unimpressed and begged me not to get undressed Lord Santa, grant my one request to get this manhair off my chest i loathe it when im at da club nobody wants to rub my stub when i wiggle in da hot tub won't somebody take a chub? my pornstar rating is in flux i'd trade it for a million bucks cuz life as a gorilla sux if only I could get some f***s so Santa on this Women's Day plz make me smooth w. looks that slay i'll dance a sexy jig and say, "Did you think that i was gay?" i worry that i won't impress ill be honest and confess each time i dream of your caress it messes up my satin dress now if u r a heavy petter you may stroke my sultry sweater bring your whip and cashmere fetter and youll find, "Now I feel better." Author Notes Written by one of Harambe's ex-girlfriends Unfortunately, the CSS used to block unseemly text wrapping on mobile devices seems to no longer be compatible with (at least certain) images used with the site template. So Harambe has deleted it to avoid the formatting causing a distraction from the content. Will have to figure out something else for the next entry.

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