Excellent screwed up nursery rhymes Ode to the hard living banana by SimianSavant Tributes contest entry

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language. Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of sexual content. WARNING: for heathen adults, not for children. Seriously, these nursery rhymes about bananas are extremely messed up. You have been warned! PROCEED ANYWAY Hannah Montana sat on a banana eating her Christmas pie It went up her runt and she said with a grunt "what a good girl am I!" Humpty Dumpty sat on a banana Humpty Dumpty screamed for his nanna All the king's horses and all the king's men Couldn't make Humpty Dumpty cisgender again The eensy weensy banana climbed up the water spout Down came the rain and washed the banana out Up came the sun and dried up all the rain So the eensy weensy banana went up the spout again It's raining it's pouring Banana is whoring it went to bed with its peels spread and couldn't get it up in the morning Little Mizz Muffet sat on her tuffet making her turds and wee Along came a banana Muffet shouted "Hosanna!" And made a chocolate banana split. Holy shit! Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack that's not a candlestick. Author Notes All hail Banana

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