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Thanksgiving morn, I honed the axe
for Tommy Turkey's neck.
But little did I know today
he'd put my ass in check.
I opened up the wired fence,
he charged me like a freak.
The other fowls just watched in awe
Tom Turkey at his peak.
He leapt six feet into the air
and pecked my balding head.
I stumbled back against the fence,
then this is what I said.
"Now listen, bird, you know it's time,
tonight you're on my plate."
I saw within my turkey's eyes
he'd not accept this fate.
He jumped again at ghastly speed.
My groin was unprepared.
A massive blow and I was down.
No subtleties were spared.
He started pecking at my face
My arms gave little aid.
I flopped atop the fallen snow
bewildered and afraid.
He paused then glared into my eyes
and knew that he had won.
He strutted back amongst the hens
with pride at what he'd done.
I lied to kin that I was sick.
"Stay home while I recoup."
So now Thanksgiving feast for me...
is Ramen Noodle soup.
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