Angel, where are you now,
perhaps in hell
paying for the many depravities
against a child, your first cousin
and your brother, Jose Luis,
who betrayed me
by following your lead
lead
lead
lead
I heard you got cancer
and felt guilty for not caring
but sometimes I wonder ….
what happened to your brother
the bed wetter
the follower
Where are the fields of barley
where I hid from you
built a safe house of ripe grass
where you couldn’t find me
but you did
you did
did
did
did
Why did I feel it was my fault, at five,
where was dad, my champion,
the one to keep me safe and sound …
sound
sound
sound
he was three doors down
when you got me alone in your room
playing mommy and daddy
with our clothes on
…though I was not playing
I was the keeper of shame
you made Jose Luise do it too
my cousin
my friend
while you watched
where is my innocence now
maybe, in golden fields of barley
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