It Wasn't a Smart Move by DragonSkulls
If I had a dime for every time someone asked me if I was stupid
or just hippocampusless, I'd have exactly two dollars and thirty-seven
Numerous times, I've had to explain that when I was young, I had
a hippocampurectomy because my mom always told me I was too
smart for my own good.
Before the doctor could do it, he needed to perform a hippocampiopsy
to see how intelligent I actually was. After three minutes of examination,
he told me it was extremely necessary and the procedure was so delicate
that it had to be performed in his basement at home, and that he had to
be paid the ninety thousand dollars up front, in cash. I used my flea
market haggling skills to get him all the way down to the eighty bucks
I had in my pocket.
He put me under and operated. I was amazed when I woke up. I actually
felt so much dumber. I ran to the mirror and couldn't believe my eyes.
There were no cut marks, no stitches, nothing. It looked like he hadn't
even sawed the top half of my head off at all. Dr. Smith claimed it was
new scarless technology, and in my renewed state of being, I said, "Cool."
Years later, I found that I couldn't land a job when on the application, under
the medical section, I put that I had no hippocampus. That was seemingly
When I went back, oddly enough, there was no record of a Dr. Smith ever
working at the hospital. I explained my situation to a Dr. Jones and he
acted immediately. I was the first and only person on the 'critical' list to
get a hippocamplant. Luckily, a donor had just arrived.
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