Excellent When time stops I Choose Rainbows : Finality by sholessjo

It was a time ago Somewhere between my birth And my death The feeling of lifelessness I remember it well It was a sad time Breathing thoughts Of blackness Where woeful sorrows Change perception And memories fade To hopelessness Oh how the horrors Of mystic darkness Burns deep in my soul Ghosts of terror Floating towards me Floating inward Floating Deeper and deeper Black thoughts Of impossible dreams Beyond nightmares Unimaginable Those thoughts Impossible to exist No I yell No! I scream No! No! No! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING And then I acquiesce And I welcome my death God of my father God of my soul I beseech Your help Please Take my hand Forgive my sins Life is wrath And wrath is life I can exist No more Please forgive I see nothing And want nothing Sadness so black Pain and suffering so deep My heart wants to cry God forgive me for what I do I must take the pills I swallow God forgive me for what I have done And I swallow more I walk to the bed I lie down Folded arms wrapped In prayer I say goodbye My family Better I be gone Than face them alive Death be sorrow Death be quick It is dark And I feel Nothing I sleep Unconsciousness Beyond any grave Beyond any hell I know no more Did time stop Did existence exist Knew, not I Nothingness Black eternity Unleashed And I succumb And the pain is gone And then Infinitely then I stir Wakened to confusion I rise Pained reality I am alive God no Please no I walk But it is not me walking Distance and time Replaced By false lineage And ghosted images Replace reality And I fall Distance gone I stand Distance gone I fall And I sleep Internally dead Horrors of the worst GOD! GOD! I am alive Thoughts displaced I gape Sorrowfully Into the mirror It is me Not dead Not alive A ghost of ghosts past And I see light And I reach for it But time And reality Again betray I reach I fall And I pain And I question The uncertainty of life The uncertainty of death And I vow To stay alive But sleep Be you so evil Overtakes And I reach for the mirage But it is gone And I fall And I fall and And I want to live But slumber And pills A bad potion of magic Brings eternity into focus And I slumber Deeply Quietly Peacefully At last But the sun rises And the door pounds It is my family My loving family Had found my body Their horror A terrible gifted horror Of love And what was Is gone And I awake Voices Of loved and beloved Bring life to reality My wife My daughter My son Ring life Wakening my slumber And I survive

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