FanStory.com - BJsby SimianSavant

On a warm winter day in 1994, a dapper gentleman walked into a Berkely & Jenson wholesale club. He immediately spotted an attractive Aryan African American associate, and approached amiably.

"May I help you, sir?"

"Hi, yes, I'll be turning 60 next month and I'm looking for someone who can provide me with the premium BJ experience. I'm told this is the place to come."

She gestured behind her to the helium tank. "You must be looking for party balloons! I'll get right on that, sir. How many would you like?"

"Let's start with one, and take it from there. Tell me about yourself, young lady! What's an attractive woman like yourself doing here giving out, well you know..."

"Giving out what?" She batted her eyelashes.

"Oh, don't make me say it." He laughed. He had a rich, musical voice.

She pulled out an uninflated red balloon from a drawer, slowly stretching it, and snapped it seductively. "How about a red one?"

"It IS Valentine's Day after all. I'm Willie, by the way." He offered his hand.

She paused, smiled coyly, and slowly extended hers in return. "I'm Kamala. But you can call me by my middle name, Devi. Like Cruella from the Disney film." She pulled away, gliding towards the helium tank with the red balloon.

Willie wistfully watched the hypnotic sway of her hips. She initiated inflating the balloon.

"Hey Devi, do you have any side hussles?"

"Funny you should ask. For Black History Month I've been working on a super secret side project that involves MLK. Trying to finish it for President's Day. Buuuuuut it's an expensive project, and needs a cash injection."

"Well, how do you like your job?"

She turned to look at him, and sighed. "It kind of blows, tbh. The customers suck."

"Devi, watch out!"

She'd forgotten to watch the red balloon. It burst suddenly, showering her with red pieces of rubber. A holy ghost-spirit emerged from the balloon. It was Willie's ex! "Don't do it, Willie!" it shrieked, before vanishing.

They both froze for a second, then burst out laughing.

"You know, Devi, I could get you a job with Unemployment Insurance Appeals. It's a Board Job. Pays $97,088 a year. In exchange, you could show up to blow... balloons, at my birthday party. I live just down the road. Are you down? It's on March 20th."

"Sure, I'll go down there," said Devi, excitedly. "But, I'll need cash up front."

"Great! Do you have a back room? Let's make it official."

Devi hungrily locked eyes with Willie and grabbed his purple necktie, pressing up against him. Then she turned, gently leading him by the hand towards the back room.