Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of sexual content.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Oh, I know, dear reader, this is long ... but if you choose to climb aboard — and my words have not failed me — you'll have a happy journey. I turned on the seat-warmer for your comfort and convenience.
THUMBNAIL SKETCH OF THE LAST SCENE: Cornelius is brought to the music room to defuse after an emotional incident in the classroom. He is playing somber chords on the piano. Cililla is with him as a measure and mirror of his mood. Principal Hallows and Nurse Wooden are observing. So are his classmates, who are outside the long window in the corridor. Jennie Jax is watching him from her corner of the window. Nurse Wooden, thinking Cornelius is having a seizure, leaves to call his parents. Suddenly a voice speaks offstage and the stage goes into shadow and everyone but Cornelius and Cililla go into suspended animation.
CHARACTERS
Cornelius Plumb: An autistic, musical genius child, age 12. Stunningly attractive, His mother dresses him fashionably and impeccably. He is at a developmental crossroad, physically, mentally, and emotionally. His thoughts, when spoken, often broken, tend to end in an inflection.
Cililla Queez: An outgrowth of Cornelius’ mind, a replacement for his imaginary childhood mentor, Pidely-Poo; she is here to transition him through puberty and adolescence. She is shapelier than most of the girls and her demeanor is rather racy, like a pre-teen channeling a stripper, but she also feels deeply and abounds in wisdom.
Pidely-Poo: Like Cililla, an outgrowth of Cornelius’s younger mind, who had been active until recently, having gone silent when Cililla materialized. Possesses all the worst parts of immaturity and the best parts of hope and quixotic dreams.
SETTING: [For full description see Author Notes] The Music Room: Right center stage, is the piano, facing the audience, but angled so the piano player can be seen, but his hand movements can’t. Long window extends from upstage right to downstage right. The other side of the window is an outside corridor, and beyond it, the playground (or a backdrop representing the same). The Timeframe is early 1950s.
AT RISE: PRINCIPAL HALLOWS, near the piano, and the few remaining students on the corridor outside the window, including JENNIE JAX (at the downstage corner of the window), are in suspended animation, and in shadow. Under full stage-light and movement are CORNELIUS and CILILLA. She is silently comforting him. Entering, and chattering noisily from the left stage darkness, and fairly bouncing toward them, is the gaudily-dressed (with banana-yellow spiked hair) man-child, PIDELY-POO.
CORNELIUS:
(Sizing PIDILY-POO up, anxiously through wide eyes)
You—look—dif-fer-ent?
PIDELY-POO:
It’s a ringly-dingly differ-if-erent world, Cornie —
(then, enthusiastically, attended with a flamboyant flinging of his arms)
a crazy, zany, beautiful, differ-if-erent world.
CILILLA QUEEZ:
He does look different, doesn’t he, Cornelius? Look at him very carefully, Sweetie. Look at that hair. Is that even a color? You remember it as soft and curly, don’t you? but also, look at how he’s dressed. Are those the clothes of a king’s son? Would they even allow him on the Island of Awm?
PIDELY-POO:
(Crossing to face CILILLA, appraising her)
So, this is the famous CILILLA QUEEZ! Does Pidely-Poo’s appearance frighten you, hmm?
(Smiles briefly at CORNELIUS whose attention darts like a cornered bird from one to the other. PIDELY ogles CILILLA)
Pidely must say, you are a diddlelovely replacement.
(He maneuvers to stand beside her and with a verticle movement of his head, guides his eyes from her feet, up her body, slowing at her hips)
Mmmmmm. Yes.
[CILILLA casually watches PIDILY-POO reach down, slipping his fingertips under the hem of her miniskirt, and proceed to work it, inch-by-inch up her thigh until the bottom elastic of her panties show, and then slides two fingers beneath them. CORNELIUS watching it all, mouth open, looks away, but quickly back.]
CILILLA:
IF … I were to allow you to reach your presumed prize, Pidely-Poo, what then? What in the world would you do with it, you little shit of an imp?
(with that, she gives his forearm a karate chop; he grabs his arm and begins hopping about.)
[CORNELIUS, as though jolted by a shock, jumps back a few feet and he reaches for his own arm]
PIDELY-POO:
(Through tears and hiccupping, the way a child would, he whimpers)
Pidely-Poo’s—only doing what—what—
(interrupting himself with wet catches in his throat)
what was in Cornie's mind, to begin with.
CORNELIUS:
(Stalking around erratically, zigging a few steps in one direction, zagging a few in another, his lips moving in an inner conversation)
Huh-uh … no he … yeees he did… ohhh, naughty! Cornelius … Oh, no, no, no.
( In the course of his inner prosecution and defense, he brings his fingertips to his cheek, holds them there a moment, then drops them)
CILILLA:
(Making a halting step toward CORNELIUS, then turning her rage back to PIDELY-POO, as CORNELIUS continues his personal rant)
See what you’ve done, you little fucking twerp! How dare you take a tiny flake of the truth, then slop it through your filthy sewer of a mind.
(She makes a helpless gesture to CORNELIUS, who still wanders about the room, berating himself, oblivious of anyone)
Of course, it’s been in his mind, you shithead. He’s twelve years old. That’s why I’m here, to help him sort it all out. He needs me. He doesn’t need you. He’s outgrown your juvenile tactics. Why don’t you go check on your progress with Mr. Hiney?
PIDELY-POO:
(Wounded, he sticks out his tongue at her)
Cornie loves Pidely-Poo. Pidely-Poo makes him happy. Doesn’t he, Cornie?
CORNELIUS:
(Stops, turns, smiles)
Pidely’s funny. Pidely makes Cornie laugh.
(Turns again, stalking away, confused)
CILILLA:
Of course he does, Sweetie. He's good at making people laugh. Look at him! And there was a time you needed that, Cornelius. He was there to sweep you off to the Island of Awm, with the birds and the castle and the king. You turned to Pidely-Poo whenever things in the real world were too tough to deal with. He was your key. And he was good for you back then. Back then.
PIDELY-POO:
(Reenergized)
Yes! Yes! And Pidely can—will be good for you now, little Cornie. Just like before. Pidely and you will have a good time, won’t we? Won’t we, Cornie?
(Begins cartwheeling and whirling toward CORNELIUS, who is conflicted and keeps turning away from him, though a smile flickers, then disappears, then returns. CILILLA watches it all, curiously)
You remember the key, don’t you, Cornie? Close your eyes and make the sounds, Cornie, make them, and you and Pidely will be off to the Island of Awm, just like before.
(With enthusiasm building to a crescendo as he talks, following CORNELIUS’S zig-zaggy lumber …. CORNELIUS who is torn, whose frightened glances toward CILILLA are not returned: in fact, CILILLA has allowed her eyes to close and she stands there, a small smile on her lips, her hands clasped in front of her.)
We can race through the castle halls and even go to the King’s chamber. You know he’s fallen into a deep slumber now ... it's because he’s lost all hope that the queen will ever return. But we can wake him, Cornie—you and Pidely. And together, with your true father, the King—you can’t forget that, Cornie … your true father is the King of Awm, and, and, and Pidely-Poo is your Brother, you mustn’t forget that—together we can rekindle the King’s hope and, and we can develop the plan to, to kill Howlword, the King’s evil brother, and return our Mother—yours and Pidely’s Mother—Queen Toloache, back to the Island of Awm, back to her throne, where, where we can all live together, Cornie, in peace. Oh, Cornie, won’t it be wonderful? That peace?
CILILLA:
(Out of a place of weariness, turning now to CORNELIUS)
Of course, it would be wonderful, Sweetie. If you want to stay forever a child. But is that what you want? Is that what you really want? Because, if you do, if you follow Pidely-Poo to the Island of Awm … and you let him lure you into the dark, shadowy castle, the door will lock behind you. I promise you that, Sweetie, the door will lock behind you and you’ll be forever a child-prisoner in that castle. Is that what you—
PIDELY-POO:
Don’t listen to the slut, Cornie! She doesn’t want you on the Island of Awm because … because …
(With sudden enlightenment)
Yes! Because she won’t have a job anymore. You do know, don’t you …
(Covering a fit of giggles with his shaking hand, he continues on talking around and through them)
You do know she—she is on your evil Uncle Howlword’s … his, his payroll, don’t you? Not just as his, umm, son’s tutor, but, but Pidely has caught them—oh, yes, he’s caught them … he caught them doing terr-ri-bul, naughty, naughty things.
CILILLA:
I should let you go on, I really should. You’re watching this dirty little movie, you turd, a movie you’ve created in your mind. You have created some pretty spicy stuff, haven’t you, there in that stinky, swampy mind? Oh yes, there’s something delicious, isn’t there, Pidely-Poo, when you can hide in the murky shadows of that projection room and watch everything unfold in your slimy little mind.
PIDELY-POO:
(Rattled, covering his ears with his hands, whining)
No, no, noooooooo. Don’t you listen, Cornie, that’s not it.
CILILLA:
Oh, yes, Pidely, that’s exactly it. That’s exactly what you’re doing. I know it, and you know it. And we both know why.
PIDELY-POO:
(Still covering his ears, dancing about)
Dum-de-dum-de dum. De diddily dum de dum.
CILILLA:
And we know why it is so terribly important for you to lure this innocent child, using any bait you can, back onto that Island of Awm—and once you get him there, to entice him through those heavy castle doors that will lock behind him. Because then you’ll have won. Because then it will all be over. His mind will forever be imprisoned in a dark, lonely, timeless, music-less void.
PIDELY-POO:
Liar, liar, pants on fire!
CILILLA:
Cornelius knows I don’t lie to him. If he listens to you …
(here, her voice breaks and tears invade her eyes)
… and if he makes those magical sounds—
PIDELY-POO:
Yes, Cornie, just make those sounds now!
CILILLA:
If he listens to you… shit! How could you—you loveless fuck!?
(Breathing heavily)
If—if he listens to you and makes those sounds, you’ll have kidnapped his beautiful mind, and all the beautiful music that’s waiting to be born in it, the world’s music, and you’ll have locked it away in that dark, soulless castle until it withers and dies.
(Exhausted)
But even then, you will own only a part of Cornelius. That’s what’s so sad. Better you could take all of him! But here in the real world, his body will continue to wander about until he is old and feeble, and those who love him, and those who are simply curious, will still try to burrow into what’s behind the few words you’ve left him, will search for a flicker of light there, but it will be fruitless because his mind will be far away—might as well be a galaxy away—in some dark and unforgiving place.
[CILILLA suddenly slumps to the floor and buries her face in her hands. CORNELIUS stops his movement and stares at her. He begins frantically tracing the sign of eternity with his forefinger, in large sweeping arcs.]
PIDELY-POO:
(Watching CORNELIUS intently)
Oh, Pidely-Poo remembers that! That’s the sign when you were looking for Pidely. And that’s when Pidely would appear. Remember? And you would make the magic sounds, and off we would go. Well, here’s Pidely, Cornie. Here he is.
CORNELIUS:
Cililla—is—Cililla is—sad.
PIDELY-POO:
(knuckling his eye-sockets)
Oh, boo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Cililla doesn’t like to lose. She’s no fun. She just wants to control you.
CORNELIUS:
Con—trol?
PIDELY-POO:
Sure, that’s right. She’s no fun. That’s why she doesn’t want you to say the magic sounds. She knows with Pidely, you have fun. She knows you want to make the magic sounds, and that leaves her crying like a little baby. That’s right. Make them, Cornie. Make them now.
[CORNELIUS lets out a long sigh that ends in a moan, and he closes his eyes]
CILILLA:
(Clambering to her feet, she turns to CORNELIUS, whose eyes are closed and whose face has a meditative look, and she waves her hands wildly)
Cornie! Sweet Cornie, look at me! Cornelius! Look!
[CORNELIUS gives a few jerks of his head and his eyes fly open.]
PIDELY-POO:
Ohhhh, we were almost there, Cornie. Close your eyes again. Mmmmmmmake the sounds, brother, the soooooounds.
CILILLA:
No, no, Sweetness, keep your eyes open. Look at me, Cornie. I’ve never lied to you, Cornie, and I’m not going to lie to you now. I know that Pidely-Poof’s magic seems so easy to you—
CORNELIUS:
(With a rare smile)
You — you said Pidely Poof — That's, um, funny. His name's Poo, Pidely Poo?
CILILLA:
That was funny, Sweetie, wasn’t it? His name’s not Pidely Poof. I said it that way because Pidely was so close to luring you away—POOF !— to kidnapping your mind the way he said that Howlword kidnapped your mama. You were a few seconds away from being his prisoner, Sweetie. And the real world would forevermore go POOF!
(Beat)
Please, Cornelius, look at me …. Sure, it seems easier. Poof! And everything that ever hurt you would be gone! Poof! All the James Delaneys of the world—gone! Poof, your father gone! Poof! Gone that scary Mr. Hiney. But you know what, Cornie? You know what else will be gone? You know what else will go POOF! when you make the magic sound? Sweetie? Do you? Look at me, Cornie.
(CORNELIUS is looking at her, but to his side is PIDELY-POO, making faces, trying to distract him)
CILILLA (Continued):
POOF! Sweetie, forevermore, gone will be your Mama. Your mama! You’ll never see her again. POOF! Mr. Hallows, gone. He’s one of the good ones, Cornie. I’ll be gone, too, Cornie. Yes, I’ll be gone. I know I’ve let you down, but I’m learning, too. Anyway, it will be goodbye to me. Goodbye to Mr. Hallows. Oh, and goodbye to Music. There's no music in the Castle, Cornie. But there’s one more, Sweetness. There's one more POOF ... one more goodbye. One more who will be gone, forever gone. Look!
(She points to the corner of the window, and CORNELIUS follows the direction of her finger)
CILILLA (Continued):
POOF! Gone will be Jennie Jax.
(Cornelius’s hand raises almost as a reflex to his cheek.)
CILILLA (continued):
Gone before you have a chance to know her. Gone before you get to know that out of the two of you would have sprung a far greater magic than Pidely-Poo's.
[The moment his fingertips rest on the remembered kiss … out of the shadowed stage and the frozen animation of the actors, a small spotlight falls on JENNIE JAX and only she, of the “frozen” cast, becomes animated. Her eyes connect with CORNELIUS’S. Her face is still wet from her tears. But a smile slowly forms on her lips.]
PIDELY-POO
(Stomping his foot like a child having a tantrum)
No! No! No! This is not fun, Cornie. This is not fun at all. It is un-fun That's what it is!
[ PIDELY-POO starts toward the stage left exit. But on the second step, his right leg turns rubbery, and he reaches for it with both hands. Then it's his left leg. He turns and gives CORNELIUS and CILILLA a confused and embarrassed laugh, but both are looking at the window and don't even notice. Another step and his upper body erupts with a spasm of rubbery jerking, like a marionette whose operator has fallen asleep in the middle of the performance. PIDELY-POO collapses to the floor in an untidy pile of arms and legs, is still for a moment, and then unwraps them enough to get to his hands and knees to crawl the last few feet. Before exiting he wiggles his rear and casts a glance back at them.]
PIDELY-POO
Won't you even say good biddly-bye to Pidely-Poo, Cornie?
[CORNELIUS is still staring at the window. His fingertips are on his cheek. CILILLA is smiling at him]
PIDELY-POO (Continued):
Pidely-Poo doesn't feel right, Cornie. Pidely feel diff-if ... feels diff-if-er-if-erent. Good-bye, Cornie. Good bidily-bye.
END OF SCENE 8
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Author Notes
FULL SETTING DESCRIPTION: The music room. Upstage, Right center to left, Lockers and cupboards line the walls. Several brass instruments are leaning against the wall. Upstage right, exit door leads to an outside corridor. A large window extends from the exit door to downstage, right, with draw-drapes at either end. A railing goes along the far side of the corridor. The playground, basketball court, etc., stretches beyond (Can be a backdrop picture). Right center stage, is the piano, facing the audience, but angled so the piano player can be seen, but his hand movements can't. Miscellaneous chairs are scattered about. There is no wall, stage left: it is implicit by a line of darkness upstage left to downstage left.
Much gratitude for the photo by Daniel on Upsplash.
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