Exceptional Per System Decree: not my legal address Social Security Says: SQUATTER! by Elizabeth Emerald Artwork by willie at FanArtReview.com

For the past sixteen years, I've been filing my annual "Social Security Statement of Earnings" in one of sundry super-safe places, to ensure that they don't get tossed in the recycle bin. I may as well have chucked each forthwith; can't find a single one of 'em. (Any would have sufficed; I've earned only double-digits since my involuntary early-early retirement in 2004.) I went on line to view my statement (via ssa.gov) and proceeded to create the requisite account, which entailed entering the usual identifying data.  "Invalid Information." I assumed the glitch was due to my leaving the middle initial blank. I do not use my erstwhile middle name, and my card (found whilst searching vainly for the earnings statement) does not include it.  I typed in "A": nope. Next, "Anne": three strikes, I'm out. I called the contact number and was pleased to be connected, inside of fifteen minutes, to a lady named neither Siri nor Alexa. She (I'll call her "Iris," for Siri's flip-side) asked for the same data the screen asked for, to which I gave the same answers. Iris informed me that the address I provided was incorrect. I informed Iris that I've been living at this address since the last millennium. (Rerererepeat.)  In chess, this fruitless to-and-fro, a "stalemate," would be declared a draw; neither side scores a win and the play begins anew. Such a civilized convention is moot when one's opponent is a bureaucracy; the lowly citizen can never win. I hereby concede the match. I'm off to waste another hour searching out the statement.   Recognized Author Notes Check Mate by willie on FanArtReview.com THANK YOU!

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