Background
Would God want me to gamble? I think He wants me at the casino playing games. I didn't realize when I wrote my first chapter, this was a story to be continued. Journal entries begin with chapter two.
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Update 4/8/21:
In my last update, I thought God's plan was for me to play at the casino until I gave all my winnings back. I was at a place where I didn't mind losing.
That's the way it is on my walk with God. There are two sides to me: one that desires to satisfy my flesh and one that desires to please God. I can't always tell which side I'm on.
If I don't mind where I'm at or where I'm going, there's no tension. I sleep well. I feel peace. But peace without the battle accomplishes nothing. Tension and turmoil precede my peace with God and comes during breaks before the next battle begins.
Some people believe it's crazy to think God speaks to me, but if you don't believe He speaks to you, you won't hear Him if He tries. The problem with hearing God is you will also hear Satan. You can't tell the difference until what you hear goes through the refining fire. Satan tells you things that make sense and sound godly. God tells you things that don't make sense and sometimes appears to go against God's teaching in the Bible.
It's like when Jesus refused to condemn the woman caught in adultery. Biblical teachings from the Old Testament directed both the woman and the man be stoned to death.
In Acts 10:24, God showed Peter in a vision not to call anything unclean. It prepared him to visit Cornelius, a foreigner, unlawful for Jews to visit. God called things unclean in the Old Testament, but He showed Peter not to call them unclean.
On to the gambling update. I was fine with losing. Gary was the one who decided to return to the casino. I thought if I played, I would lose my previous winnings. But then I wasn't okay with losing. That's when the two sides within me clashed. The side that was okay with losing didn't want tension. Then God's side stirred up the pot and I knew I wasn't okay with going to casino with the knowledge I would lose if I played.
The answer seemed simple: If I don't play, I won't lose.
During our next visit 4/5/21, I didn't play. I watched while Gary played and won $25. I could tell I still felt the desire to play, but I believed I was done.
Yesterday I heard something new: If I don't play, Satan won't lose.
Some say if you don't play you won't win. I had heard if I don't play, I won't lose. Now if I don't play, Satan won't lose. It changes everything.
God's plan isn't about giving my winnings back to the casino through gambling losses; it's so Satan will lose this battle. I don't know what the battle is or what victory will look like, but I'm prepared to gamble during our next casino visit. If I don't play, Satan won't lose.
