I was only ten when my mother drowned.
That was eight years ago.

I've asked in my prayers every day...every since...
God...please tell me.
Why did I have to watch it happen...
but couldn't help Mom?

I tried...OH! How I tried...but
I couldn't swim...and even if I could have...
I don't believe I would have been able to
save my Mother's life.
I just wouldn't have known how.

Today...I am a lifeguard.

I sit motionless upon my observation stand for hours...
scanning the sky-blue water of the Pacific Ocean...
the better to keep my bathers in my view.


My bustling people are subjects of my delight.

Their lively activity is entertainment for me.
Their energetic spirits make me smile...
ofttimes they make me laugh out loud.

They all seem to feel care-free, and safe,
because of me being here.

The sun is hot...but I'm cooling in the shade beneath
the candy cane colored canopy of my stand enjoying
an ice-cold lemonade drink.

Here...I feel a refreshing breeze, as my locks flutter softly
about my sun tanned face.

The enticing aroma of hot dogs steaming at a nearby
snack concession invites me to have one...
but I never eat while on duty.

Peach of the beach.
That's what the guys that I work with call me.

Not only because I'm the only female lifeguard
that work on this section of the beach...
but because of my radiant beauty they all say.

People always stop me...especially on the beach...
to tell me what a lovely girl I am.

I've always felt that I'm just a plain Jane.
I guess that's why that's what I really am.

"Brittney, you ought to become a fashion model...
or a movie star. You'll become rich and famous," they say.
"That's where the big money is, girl.
You're wasting your time here on the beach."

"That's not true," I tell them.
"I don't want to be anything but what I am.
I am a lifeguard."

"I don't want to be a fashion model.
I don't want to be a movie star."

"I want to spend the rest of my life saving lives...
by pulling drowning people out of the water...
and to safety." I tell them.

Then my eyes begin to get watery.

Somber memories intrude upon my muse.
Remembrance scoops me up in a taunting whirlpool.

I tumble through a suction spiral...
back to that dreadful day.

Mom drowned that day...
and I came close to drowning with her.