Oh, Baby!

"Lisa, this is fantastic! I'm going to be a dad! I can't wait to take my boy fishing and teach him baseball -- things I always wanted to do with my dad, but he was always at work or in his study preparing for his lectures. Let's go buy a baby baseball glove and a football. I know they make stuff like that. Oh, and a cheerleader thing, if it's a girl. Bring your credit card. I'm maxed out on mine. Wow, I'm gonna be a dad!"

"Pregnant? Lisa's pregnant? Oh my gosh! That's wonderful. A baby is just what you need, Dan. You're such a great guy with a huge heart and so many wonderful ideas. You've had a tough time finding your calling. Your bosses have never understood your approach to work. A baby will give you a reason to deal with annoyances at work and find a job where you are valued. Life hasn't been easy for you. Dad and I weren't good role models. We fought so much and I fell apart when he left us for that trashy young student of his. Having a child of your own will make you feel better about yourself. Oh, a baby!"

"Good grief, Lisa. You're pregnant? How could you let this happen? You've been telling me for years how tired you are of working overtime trying to make ends meet. I know you keep hoping that Dan will suddenly become mature and motivated, but are you ready to be responsible for a child if Dan remains kind but unfocused?"

"Well baby, this is really happening. I've always wanted to be a mom; to have someone to love completely and have that love returned unconditionally. I'm going to show you what a mother should be. I'll never be impatient with you. I'll value what you have to say, and how you say it.
I'll never say 'Because I said so.' I will encourage your spirit.
I'll learn to cook healthier foods, only organic, never give you pre-packaged junk food. I'll make sure that we always eat at the kitchen table with lots of time to share stories of our day, offering gratitude for each other. No angry words or dark silences.
I'll teach you that there are many paths in life to choose from, and I'll send you to the right schools to meet the best people who know how to get ahead. I will never shame you for a grade in school or a messy room. We will be so tuned into each other that I will always know what you need and you'll never feel misunderstood.
I imagine you as a girl. We can play dress-up and have tea parties. I always wanted to do that with my mom, but she wasn't into that. Oh, and ballet, too. I never got the chance to do that either.
If you're a boy we can play war or army. Maybe your dad will be good at that. You'll have to be either/or -- I don't believe in that 'gender neutral' nonsense.
I'll teach you to be an independent person, to think for yourself. I already see you as a warm, wonderful companion, a good-hearted listener to share my life with. It will be wonderful to finally have someone who understands and agrees with me. Sometimes life can be confusing and lonely. I'll never be lonely again! I won't feel awkward and alone in a coffee shop or department store again because I'll have you with me. I'll be a mom! You will complete me. I don't know why I waited so long-- all those fears about your dad not being steady. He's nice, fun and kind, but not all that reliable financially or emotionally. You will change that. We will be strong together -- a real family, just like on TV. Happy, smiling, together ... always.
So, baby, it's going to be amazing to have you join us. We'll take care of you and you'll help us to be all that we've wanted to be. You've got the easy part: just grow and be nurtured until it's time for you to make your entry into this life -- our family. Then simply fill all the needs of everyone who loves you. Thank you, in advance. I love you! Oh, baby!"