Humor Poetry posted October 2, 2020

This work has reached the exceptional level
Inventive Geniuses contest entry

The Infomercial

by DragonSkulls

Inventive Geniuses! Contest Winner 

The jingle:
    You won't have to worry
    if you're home or not.
    Anywhere you go...
    it's Zip-n-Squat!


When busy at your daily chores
and have no time to spare,
unzip your pants and take a squat
and simply go right there.

The bathroom's never far away
when strapped right to your waist.
Convenience is a bonus perk
if needing one in haste.

You'll never have to leave the yard
while playing with your tot.
You won't miss cherished memories
with your own Zip-n-Squat.

When dancing with your favorite girl
and friends out in the street,
with Zip-n-Squat the fun won't end.
You'll barely miss a beat.

When on the beach beneath the sun
where sand is blazing hot,
you won't defile the ocean waves.
You're safe with Zip-n-Squat.

Let's say you're on a movie date
and holding in a grunt.
With Zip-n-Squat you'll never hear,
"Hey, lady, down in front!"

Perhaps you're at an interview.
You sit up tall and straight.
With Zip-n-Squat you get the job
when others couldn't wait.

If on the day you tie the knot
your stomach growls and twists.
Just quickly use your Zip-n-Squat
then stand up for the kiss.

Now anywhere is limitless
to live so joyously.
With Zip-n-Squat strapped to your butt
you're free as free can be.

What would you pay for such a prize?
A hundred? Maybe two?
If calling in your order now,
we have a deal for you.

Just three small payments and it's yours
of nineteen ninety-five.
With Zip-n-Squat you're always free
to truly be alive!


The jingle:
    You won't have to worry
    if you're home or not.
    Anywhere you go...
    it's Zip-n-Squat!

                             Collection bags sold separately.


Inventive Geniuses!
Contest Winner


I created this silly picture myself.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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