| Humor Fiction posted July 30, 2020 |
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Teach Us contest entry
Vital Information
by DragonSkulls
Hello. Today, I'm going to attempt to teach those who apparently don't know,
how to count to seventeen. When entering the site's 5-7-5 contests, this is vital
information to have.
The two things you will need are at least seven fingers and the definition of
what a syllable is.
A Google search of how to break words down into syllables is quite easily
accessible. Now, the being able to grasp and comprehend the information
given is totally up to the individual. I recommend fully understanding the
concept of separating syllables before attempting to participate in syllable
counting contests to avoid humiliation.
For a five, seven, five contest, the first line of your piece needs to actually be
five syllables in length. With your new found knowledge of syllables, simply
count the number of fingers and thumb on one hand. Don't forget the thumb.
That's very important. This only works if you have a hand with a total of four
fingers and one thumb. Any number other than that, you might need to use a
calculator instead. As you say the words aloud, count the syllables using your
fingers and thumb. Again, the thumb is crucial for counting to five. Start off
with your hand in a fist and extend one finger per syllable that you speak.
Here's an example:
I have to be smart.
"I," would be one syllable. Use either your pointing finger or your thumb as one.
"Have," would then be your second syllable. Now you should have two fingers
extended. "To," would in turn then be three. You're almost there, don't give up
yet, only two more to go. "Be," now four fingers are out. Then finally, "Smart,"
would be your fifth syllable. Congratulations, your first line is correctly complete.
If you wanted more or less words than that in your first line, you need to rethink
what it is you're trying to say.
Don't forget what you learned about syllables because sometimes you have to use
big words like "Before." That would use two fingers on your hand. "Be-" one finger
and "-Fore," two. See how easy that is? I knew you could do it.
Now here is where it gets tough, the second line. You have to do the same thing as
the first line but once you use all your fingers on one hand, you have use a whole two
more fingers on your other hand. If you managed to not mess that up, that should be
a total of seven syllables and, hallelujah, your second line is also counted correctly.
Your last line is done exactly as you did the first line, using all your fingers and thumb
to come up with a total of five.
If you followed all these steps, you now have a piece that adheres to the rules of
a 5-7-5 contest. All seventeen syllables will accurately be accounted for. Not too
many, not too few. Everyone will be so happy and cheerful because now the
contest will actually go to booth rather than sitting in limbo for days, having to
wait on your incompetence.
Hopefully you have learned a lot today. Maybe tomorrow I'll teach you how to use
your fingers to count all the way up to nine. Then you'll be able to join a Nonet
contest, without fear of shame, as well.
A 'How-To' Contest--Teach Us! contest entry
Hello. Today, I'm going to attempt to teach those who apparently don't know,
how to count to seventeen. When entering the site's 5-7-5 contests, this is vital
information to have.
The two things you will need are at least seven fingers and the definition of
what a syllable is.
A Google search of how to break words down into syllables is quite easily
accessible. Now, the being able to grasp and comprehend the information
given is totally up to the individual. I recommend fully understanding the
concept of separating syllables before attempting to participate in syllable
counting contests to avoid humiliation.
For a five, seven, five contest, the first line of your piece needs to actually be
five syllables in length. With your new found knowledge of syllables, simply
count the number of fingers and thumb on one hand. Don't forget the thumb.
That's very important. This only works if you have a hand with a total of four
fingers and one thumb. Any number other than that, you might need to use a
calculator instead. As you say the words aloud, count the syllables using your
fingers and thumb. Again, the thumb is crucial for counting to five. Start off
with your hand in a fist and extend one finger per syllable that you speak.
Here's an example:
I have to be smart.
"I," would be one syllable. Use either your pointing finger or your thumb as one.
"Have," would then be your second syllable. Now you should have two fingers
extended. "To," would in turn then be three. You're almost there, don't give up
yet, only two more to go. "Be," now four fingers are out. Then finally, "Smart,"
would be your fifth syllable. Congratulations, your first line is correctly complete.
If you wanted more or less words than that in your first line, you need to rethink
what it is you're trying to say.
Don't forget what you learned about syllables because sometimes you have to use
big words like "Before." That would use two fingers on your hand. "Be-" one finger
and "-Fore," two. See how easy that is? I knew you could do it.
Now here is where it gets tough, the second line. You have to do the same thing as
the first line but once you use all your fingers on one hand, you have use a whole two
more fingers on your other hand. If you managed to not mess that up, that should be
a total of seven syllables and, hallelujah, your second line is also counted correctly.
Your last line is done exactly as you did the first line, using all your fingers and thumb
to come up with a total of five.
If you followed all these steps, you now have a piece that adheres to the rules of
a 5-7-5 contest. All seventeen syllables will accurately be accounted for. Not too
many, not too few. Everyone will be so happy and cheerful because now the
contest will actually go to booth rather than sitting in limbo for days, having to
wait on your incompetence.
Hopefully you have learned a lot today. Maybe tomorrow I'll teach you how to use
your fingers to count all the way up to nine. Then you'll be able to join a Nonet
contest, without fear of shame, as well.
 Recognized |
I'm just sayin'...
556 words.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. 556 words.
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