Rapid heartbeats in the silent night
guilty memories of you woke her up

Your kindergarten’s Mother’s Day card
    said that she was a good mom 
    and you were grateful for the times
    She took you to the park
    and to grandma’s house
She felt so ashamed
because  the times 
were short and hard to come by

When you were a teenager....
Late one night
Your phone call… 
     'Mom I need a ride’
     'No'
     She said no...it was raining...and she said no.

The barefoot dethroned queen
    lost in the dark
    and so thirsty for water and sanity
    left her shame at the front door
    and you had to clean it up

A pitiful thanksgiving 
    She made a dry turkey breast for two

Once, you gave her zen advice
    be positive
    sit tall
    be the queen you are…
    you made her smile
    at the shame hospital
    too embarrassed to visit
    and she could not blame you

She remembers the day she found out
     She was going to be your mother
     how happy she was
     so full of hope to be a      good mom
this time ...