| General Fiction posted March 25, 2020 |
  |
unless you are talking to your mother
A Rare Conversation
by dkblack
We have talked marriage, but it is a rare conversation.
We have been together almost three years now, longer, if I count back to our first posts on the on-line dating service. I liked his picture. He said he liked mine. First impressions are important even when you're not sure if they are real or enhanced ones. We messaged each other, back and forth, for awhile. We had something in common; I was being cautious, he was too. Eventually, we did meet in real time. I liked him right away, and his picture hadn't done him justice. Even better, there was a chemistry between us. I know he felt it too. Without it, it would have ended there. We were both diehards who had decided to try on-line dating, even though other forms of dating had not produced much for either of us. We dated exclusively for a couple of years, and then, moved into an apartment together. We were spending most of our not-at-work time together anyway; and some of our friends were starting to hint that we were at this point in our relationship.
My friends have relationships of various forms.
A few are married, but most are in the single range, somewhere between cohabitation and still figuring out their sexual orientation. Our generation has many more accepted freedoms than the generations before ours have had. Maybe because our world now has many bigger issues to collectively worry about that make the individual ones seem of less importance to everyone; everyone except the individual having the issue. Most of my friends believe in love. There is self love, love each other, love of nature, love of things, and spiritual love. I'm not so sure that even those, who say they don't believe in love, really want to believe in it anyway.
My mother asks me often when we plan to marry.
I don't have that answer. My mother believed her mother, who was a part of a generation that believed marriage was the answer to all relationships. Good, bad, or otherwise! You got pregnant, you got married. You wanted a college education, you found a college boy, married him, and did your part to support his education. You didn't want to get married; wanted to do it all on your own? That came with name calling and labels. Things like bossy, pushy, ambitious, an 'unmarried' woman; to name a few of those. At least, names like tart, wench, spinster, and 'old maid' had phased out a few generations before hers.
My mother did have a good marriage to my father. I think they were both happy and loved each other. There was still, in their generation, the strong divide of what was expected of each according to their gender. Dad was the man-of -the-house, the money maker, the provider. Mother was the 'little woman', the homemaker, the housewife. Each was raised to do their part of the relationship. They were both okay with that, so their marriage had few serious problems. I did notice that as they aged, their relationship roles overlapped each other more and more. Mom eventually got a part time job. Dad occasionally did dishes, and learned how to use the washing machine. Times were changing.
We have talked marriage, but it's a rare conversation.
Our three year anniversary of the day we met is coming soon. We met on-line. I was sure dating on-line would get me nowhere. I was wrong. There was a connection the first time we met in person. I think I loved her after knowing her less than a month. But what did I know about love? Not a hell-of-a-lot! I did know that she was my favorite person to spend time with. She still is. I figured moving in together would either 'make us or break us'.
It's been a year, and we are still an 'us'. I like us.
My friends have relationships of various forms.
Some think they know how love works, and like to give advice about those thoughts. Some don't think much about anything seriously, especially love. Some just want to love everybody, which tends to be hard on relationships.
My mother asks me often when we plan to marry.
She's worried about it. My parents had a crap marriage. He drank too much. But she did too. Love was scarce in our house. At least, I hope it was! I'd hate to think that what we had as a family had anything to do with love. I left their house for good, a short time before they divorced. They are doing better alone than they did together. I think dad would remarry if he ever finds someone that would marry him. Mom says it's foolish to get married. She's afraid I might consider it, because she says I have always done the opposite of what she thinks I should do.
"We have talked marriage, but it's a rare conversation."
"That's why I think it's time to bring it up again."
They were still in bed. They had the same days off from work this week. Nothing planned for today, but to just hang out at home together.
"I'm showering. After, if you really want to talk about it, we will."
"I want to do more than just talk about it. I want us to get married." He reached for a small box that was on the nightstand next to the bed. Opening it up, so that she could see the ring inside, he asked, "Will you marry me?"
She couldn't remember any of the reasons she had given him before as to why it was not a good idea for them to get married. She only knew that she loved this man, and he loved her.
He knew he loved this woman. He also knew that his mother had her faults, but she did know her son well.
Wedding contest entry
We have talked marriage, but it is a rare conversation.
We have been together almost three years now, longer, if I count back to our first posts on the on-line dating service. I liked his picture. He said he liked mine. First impressions are important even when you're not sure if they are real or enhanced ones. We messaged each other, back and forth, for awhile. We had something in common; I was being cautious, he was too. Eventually, we did meet in real time. I liked him right away, and his picture hadn't done him justice. Even better, there was a chemistry between us. I know he felt it too. Without it, it would have ended there. We were both diehards who had decided to try on-line dating, even though other forms of dating had not produced much for either of us. We dated exclusively for a couple of years, and then, moved into an apartment together. We were spending most of our not-at-work time together anyway; and some of our friends were starting to hint that we were at this point in our relationship.
My friends have relationships of various forms.
A few are married, but most are in the single range, somewhere between cohabitation and still figuring out their sexual orientation. Our generation has many more accepted freedoms than the generations before ours have had. Maybe because our world now has many bigger issues to collectively worry about that make the individual ones seem of less importance to everyone; everyone except the individual having the issue. Most of my friends believe in love. There is self love, love each other, love of nature, love of things, and spiritual love. I'm not so sure that even those, who say they don't believe in love, really want to believe in it anyway.
My mother asks me often when we plan to marry.
I don't have that answer. My mother believed her mother, who was a part of a generation that believed marriage was the answer to all relationships. Good, bad, or otherwise! You got pregnant, you got married. You wanted a college education, you found a college boy, married him, and did your part to support his education. You didn't want to get married; wanted to do it all on your own? That came with name calling and labels. Things like bossy, pushy, ambitious, an 'unmarried' woman; to name a few of those. At least, names like tart, wench, spinster, and 'old maid' had phased out a few generations before hers.
My mother did have a good marriage to my father. I think they were both happy and loved each other. There was still, in their generation, the strong divide of what was expected of each according to their gender. Dad was the man-of -the-house, the money maker, the provider. Mother was the 'little woman', the homemaker, the housewife. Each was raised to do their part of the relationship. They were both okay with that, so their marriage had few serious problems. I did notice that as they aged, their relationship roles overlapped each other more and more. Mom eventually got a part time job. Dad occasionally did dishes, and learned how to use the washing machine. Times were changing.
We have talked marriage, but it's a rare conversation.
Our three year anniversary of the day we met is coming soon. We met on-line. I was sure dating on-line would get me nowhere. I was wrong. There was a connection the first time we met in person. I think I loved her after knowing her less than a month. But what did I know about love? Not a hell-of-a-lot! I did know that she was my favorite person to spend time with. She still is. I figured moving in together would either 'make us or break us'.
It's been a year, and we are still an 'us'. I like us.
My friends have relationships of various forms.
Some think they know how love works, and like to give advice about those thoughts. Some don't think much about anything seriously, especially love. Some just want to love everybody, which tends to be hard on relationships.
My mother asks me often when we plan to marry.
She's worried about it. My parents had a crap marriage. He drank too much. But she did too. Love was scarce in our house. At least, I hope it was! I'd hate to think that what we had as a family had anything to do with love. I left their house for good, a short time before they divorced. They are doing better alone than they did together. I think dad would remarry if he ever finds someone that would marry him. Mom says it's foolish to get married. She's afraid I might consider it, because she says I have always done the opposite of what she thinks I should do.
"We have talked marriage, but it's a rare conversation."
"That's why I think it's time to bring it up again."
They were still in bed. They had the same days off from work this week. Nothing planned for today, but to just hang out at home together.
"I'm showering. After, if you really want to talk about it, we will."
"I want to do more than just talk about it. I want us to get married." He reached for a small box that was on the nightstand next to the bed. Opening it up, so that she could see the ring inside, he asked, "Will you marry me?"
She couldn't remember any of the reasons she had given him before as to why it was not a good idea for them to get married. She only knew that she loved this man, and he loved her.
He knew he loved this woman. He also knew that his mother had her faults, but she did know her son well.
We have been together almost three years now, longer, if I count back to our first posts on the on-line dating service. I liked his picture. He said he liked mine. First impressions are important even when you're not sure if they are real or enhanced ones. We messaged each other, back and forth, for awhile. We had something in common; I was being cautious, he was too. Eventually, we did meet in real time. I liked him right away, and his picture hadn't done him justice. Even better, there was a chemistry between us. I know he felt it too. Without it, it would have ended there. We were both diehards who had decided to try on-line dating, even though other forms of dating had not produced much for either of us. We dated exclusively for a couple of years, and then, moved into an apartment together. We were spending most of our not-at-work time together anyway; and some of our friends were starting to hint that we were at this point in our relationship.
My friends have relationships of various forms.
A few are married, but most are in the single range, somewhere between cohabitation and still figuring out their sexual orientation. Our generation has many more accepted freedoms than the generations before ours have had. Maybe because our world now has many bigger issues to collectively worry about that make the individual ones seem of less importance to everyone; everyone except the individual having the issue. Most of my friends believe in love. There is self love, love each other, love of nature, love of things, and spiritual love. I'm not so sure that even those, who say they don't believe in love, really want to believe in it anyway.
My mother asks me often when we plan to marry.
I don't have that answer. My mother believed her mother, who was a part of a generation that believed marriage was the answer to all relationships. Good, bad, or otherwise! You got pregnant, you got married. You wanted a college education, you found a college boy, married him, and did your part to support his education. You didn't want to get married; wanted to do it all on your own? That came with name calling and labels. Things like bossy, pushy, ambitious, an 'unmarried' woman; to name a few of those. At least, names like tart, wench, spinster, and 'old maid' had phased out a few generations before hers.
My mother did have a good marriage to my father. I think they were both happy and loved each other. There was still, in their generation, the strong divide of what was expected of each according to their gender. Dad was the man-of -the-house, the money maker, the provider. Mother was the 'little woman', the homemaker, the housewife. Each was raised to do their part of the relationship. They were both okay with that, so their marriage had few serious problems. I did notice that as they aged, their relationship roles overlapped each other more and more. Mom eventually got a part time job. Dad occasionally did dishes, and learned how to use the washing machine. Times were changing.
We have talked marriage, but it's a rare conversation.
Our three year anniversary of the day we met is coming soon. We met on-line. I was sure dating on-line would get me nowhere. I was wrong. There was a connection the first time we met in person. I think I loved her after knowing her less than a month. But what did I know about love? Not a hell-of-a-lot! I did know that she was my favorite person to spend time with. She still is. I figured moving in together would either 'make us or break us'.
It's been a year, and we are still an 'us'. I like us.
My friends have relationships of various forms.
Some think they know how love works, and like to give advice about those thoughts. Some don't think much about anything seriously, especially love. Some just want to love everybody, which tends to be hard on relationships.
My mother asks me often when we plan to marry.
She's worried about it. My parents had a crap marriage. He drank too much. But she did too. Love was scarce in our house. At least, I hope it was! I'd hate to think that what we had as a family had anything to do with love. I left their house for good, a short time before they divorced. They are doing better alone than they did together. I think dad would remarry if he ever finds someone that would marry him. Mom says it's foolish to get married. She's afraid I might consider it, because she says I have always done the opposite of what she thinks I should do.
"We have talked marriage, but it's a rare conversation."
"That's why I think it's time to bring it up again."
They were still in bed. They had the same days off from work this week. Nothing planned for today, but to just hang out at home together.
"I'm showering. After, if you really want to talk about it, we will."
"I want to do more than just talk about it. I want us to get married." He reached for a small box that was on the nightstand next to the bed. Opening it up, so that she could see the ring inside, he asked, "Will you marry me?"
She couldn't remember any of the reasons she had given him before as to why it was not a good idea for them to get married. She only knew that she loved this man, and he loved her.
He knew he loved this woman. He also knew that his mother had her faults, but she did know her son well.
Image from Google Images
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