General Script posted December 27, 2019

Chapters:

...70 71 -72- 73...

Excellent

a one scene script

A chapter in the book Scenes

Scene at the Keyboard

by Bill Schott

Characters: MM = Michelle Moose = a moose MFG = May Bell, Fay Bell, Gay Bell = The Three Cowses Ned Knuckeledd = Who knows? Pallas Pitch = Son of Peril and Pom Pon Pitch = The Pitches Bill = as Himself Bill sits before his computer screen preparing to draft, what will probably be, the final scene for the year. His muses are gathered around for this important scribbling. Ned:  Whatcha doin', Billum? Bill:  You know, Ned; Billiam is not my name. Ned: I thunk Bill was short fer Billum. Bill: It's not; it's short for William.  Look, Ned, instead of us getting into this debate, why don't you get some snacks for the others. Ned: Sure, ba - uh- Willum. Whatcha want girls? (addressing the three cows) MFG:  Mooooooooo! Pallas: I'll take a walnut and a fig newton. Ned: I dun thin' ba - uh- Wil-biam's got no fig newtons. He might haf some a them cashew nuts in a jar. Pallas: Dig up some prunes or raisins, bring the jar of nuts, and see if he's got any sauerkraut or pickled herring. Ned:  Kin I git sumptin fer you, Mitch-ell? (addressing the moose) MM: My name is pronounced 'Meesh-ell', Mister Ned. Ned:  Okeedokee, Meeshell.  My names pernounced Ned. The mister is silent. What can I git ya? MM :  Leaves, bark, or pine cones would be fine. Thank you. Ned:  Okay. I'll jis git my coat and a rake and I'll be back in a jiffy. (leaves stage left) Bill: I need to open this scene, guys. Any ideas? MFG:  Mooooooooo! MM:  Perhaps something about a flying moose and her quaint squirrel friend? Bill: That sounds a bit derivative. MM:  Oh no!  There is no sex between them, Bill!  Bill: I meant that it sounds like a take on Rocky and Bullwinkle. MM: There is no boxing or flowers in my story idea. Bill:  Right. No Rocky Balboa or periwinkles. Just a moose that flies and a rodent sidekick. MM: Gee, Bill. That's a swell idea. Pallas:  Yeah. A moose with flies buzzing around it and a rat dandy. That'll grab a reader by the eyeballs. MFG:  Mooooooooo! MM: What about a circus scene with a baby moose that flies? MFG: Mooooooooo! Ned: (enters from stage left with a serving tray filled with items)  Come'n git yer vittles! Pallas: Find any pickled herring, Nedster? Ned:  What I found in the frigadator was a jar a pickles wit one cuke in it and some left over fish sticks. I slipped the pickle inta a baggie wit a haffa onion and dropped the fish sticks inta the jar. Bill:  Dumbo. MM: No need for name calling, Bill. MFG:  Mooooooooo! Ned: Gotcha a peck a pine cones, Mitch-ell MM:  You are a prince among men, Mister Ned, and my name is pronounced Meesh-ell. Pallas: This pickled fish stick concoction sounds like a winner, Neddy.  We may need to open a stand out front. Bill:  I mean the idea sounds like Dumbo. MM:  Dummo is a flying baby moose? MFG:  Mooooooooo! Ned: Ya think people'd pay fer pickled fish sticks, Pallas? Pallas: Let's see. (pulls a fish stick out of the jar and eats it;  makes a face and spews it down stage six feet)  It's an acquired taste. If we can a hundred we might sell half before they shut us down. Bill: No, but the concept is quite similar.  MM:  Well, I'm out of ideas. I think I'll take a break and try some of your pine cones. MFG: (the three cows speak in succession)  While you're milking ideas. We need milking tooooo! Ned: Maybe Billum could write us up a advercizement so's people'd know we got pickled fish sticks they could 'quire a taste fer. Pallas: Yeah!  Something like how it tastes great going in and better getting spit out. That's truth in advertising for certain. Bill:  (moves his chair over to a cow and begins milking) I think I'll start writing about real things that happen on a daily basis. MM:  (crunching on a pine cone)  Isn't that why we have the evening news? MFG: Mooo!  Mooo! Mooooo la la! Ned: Hey, Billum!  Win ya git done milkin' them cowes, hows about jottin' down a ad fer our new bizniz? Pallas: It'll be the biggest thing to eat since chocolate ants. Bill: I'm going to dedicate my writing to an ongoing memoir of my life. MM:  Will there be a moose in your life, Bill? MFG:  Mooo!  Mooo!  I'm spent. Ned:  Gee, Pallas. I ain't so sure we're a part a Billum's memwire. Pallas:  Yeah.  We might have to get this thing up and runnin' on our own. Ned:  Maybe Pons'd like ta be inbolved in it. Pallas: He gets paid out of your half then. Bill: (moves to the second cow)  No moose, Michelle. MM: (spitting onto the floor)  Ugh!  A dog turd!  Ned you idiot! MFG: Mooo!  Well Helllllo, BILL!  Zzzzzz! Ned: Gosh! Them dern doggy logs looks purdy sim'lar to them pine cones. Pallas:  Looks like there might be a signifigant taste difference, Neddo. Bill: I should wrap this up soon. MM:  I need a tooth brush or something. MFG:  Mooo!  I'm on E, Bill.  Zzzzz! Ned: Guess I'll check out and get some shut eye. (leaves stage left) Pallas:  Start dreaming about what you'll do with all that money we make sellin' -- Wait for it --- Fickle Stick Picks!   (leaves stage left) Bill: (hooks the last cow up to a milking machine)  Going high tech with you, Gay Bell. (leaves stage left) MM: (directed down stage)  Could I get a mint?   Write A Review Pays one point and 2 member cents. You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.