"I'm looking for a firm, high-quality, queen-sized mattress. Do you have any on display?"

"Yes sir. Are you looking for a specific price?"

"I want to see a firm, high-quality, queen-sized. Price isn't important."

"Here is a Sterns and Foster, quilted with a foam pad."

"It's a king-sized and it's not firm. I'm concerned about size. I've asked twice for a queen-size. I'll take my business elsewhere."

{"Seems right, old dry skin. Did it touch anyone?"}

{"Yes it left debris on me. Genes ideal. Need it for next step. It's companion is dying of diabetes. It may be a good candidate."}

"Sir, we have them in the warehouse. We don't have them on display."

"I'm concerned about size. A king-size is too large."

{"If it leaves, eliminate clerk, it's ears are no good."}

"There's a used queen in the back. I'll set it up for you. If you purchase a mattress today, you'll get a fifteen percent discount and free delivery."

"Set up the queen."

"Yes, sir."

{"When truck comes, advance team move to the new mattress. Old it is a prime donor, lay in bed a long time."}

"You made an excellent choice. Do you want to purchase an extended warranty? The cost is only Fifty dollars for three years."

"My old mattress is nine years old and still good. It's too large."

"We recommend you purchase a new mattress every eight years, because debris doubles the weight of the mattress."

"Debris? I don't eat in bed."

"The weight increases from the skin you shed, but the most increase comes from dust mites, their egg cases and their excrement.

Your mattress will be delivered tomorrow, between Ten AM and Two PM."

^^^

... three years later.

"Dad, what's wrong?"

"I have the flu. This year's worse than the last."

"Do you need me to spend the night?"

"Maria will be here. She had to run an errand."

"Why haven't you two married?"

"She was dying from diabetes and miraculously recovered. She looks and feels twenty-years younger. We thought about it. My arthritis became so bad we decided to wait, because of insurance."

{"Tonight we do the final change. Eliminate flu and arthritis, like we did diabetes. Maria is transferring funds and changing bank accounts today. We'll get new Driver's licenses and new passports next week."}

{"We are successful. The old it's daughter believes I'm her dad. We beat the Chinese mites. They were wrong. Desiccated human skin is better than deep-fried duck skin. I'm glad those old its in the Senior Citizens Writing Class liked eating its pastries. The mite colonies are well on their way to taking over those old, decrepit and smelly its. Dust mites don't need to depend on its anymore. We can now act on our own."}