Mermaids are bizarre and mythical
They don't look like us you see
Confused identity half girl half fish
Is something I'd like to be

I wonder where they shop for bras
Don't have to stop to wear panties
There's no need to do any laundry
Each one wears nature's fancies

Their tails end with a 'va' shaped fluke
The strong tail helps them to swim
The torso covered in silvery scales
Shines through waters deep and dim

Their lipstick always stays in place
Their face always looks the same
Beautiful hair covers their charms
it flows back with the current

But the songs the sirens sing
Lure sailors each night and day
To lure their ships onto rocks
A mermaid? Not me, I'll stay