Mr. Al Imony was reported to be a habitual
intoxicated boozer and a prevaricating liar.
HE WAS CERTAINLY BOTH.

His estranged girl friend
complained in court.

"Al is a despicable alcoholic.
That bum is always pickled fickle.

I gave birth to his baby.

And he neglects his responsibility
for helping me support our daughter."

Al lied.
"Oh. No. I've never been with this women.
And all I ever have is a coupla beers."

"That's what he always lie to me about,"
replied girlfriend. "Yeah, he has a coupla beers,
and a few other alcohol cheers."

After a number of tit-for-tat spats like this,
and a lot of judicial deliberation the judge said...

"Mr. Imony my judgement in this matter is that
you will pay this woman $200. 00 a month,
until the child is eighteen years old."

At this time the child was one year old.
For years Mr. Imony sent the check by mail.

After the child was old enough her mother
sent her to Mr. Imony's house once a month,
to collect her payment.

Finally the child turned eighteen years old.
She knocked on Mr. Imony's door.

"Mom told me to tell you that she said,
give me her money."

Mr. Imony...drunk as usual...
gave her the last $200.00 check.

"Tell that pesky woman that I said I'd like to see
the expression on her face when you tell her
that this is her last check."

Half an hour later there came a knock on
Mr. Imony's door. It was the child.

"Mom told me to tell you that she'd like to see
the expression on your face when I tell you that,
I'm not your child."