| Humor Fiction posted August 7, 2018 |
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Tweed and Tweedle-dum
Two Fan Story Members Talking
by pome lover
Did you see that contest, “If I Ruled the world?”
Yeah. What about it?
Well, I don’t think anybody should.
Should what? Enter it?
Nooo. I don’t think anybody should rule the world.
Why not?
Well, in the first place, whoever it is has got to be from a certain place. Now, if you were that person, wouldn’t you want the whole world to have rules and laws like they do where you’re from – assuming they’re good rules and they work and you like ‘em? Wouldn’t that make everything easier? Everybody copacetic?
Copa-what? Well, I never thought about that, but you know what I do think?
No, what?
It’d prob’ly be fun
Really? Why is that?
Because if I ruled the whole world, I could do anything I wanted and nobody could stop me.
Well then you’d be a dictator.
No, I wouldn’t. I’d be a king.
Right. Now would you think about this for a minute? Why nobody should rule the world?
Well, I’ll think about it, but I still think it’d be fun.
Okay, but listen. It’s just like our country. Each state governs itself in a lot of ways, according to the particulars of that state and they don’t want to be forced to do things by the Federal government that their state doesn’t like or want to do. Don’t you think that’s fair?
I guess so. I never thought…
You know, maybe you should. Think about something another state wants that you don’t, or something you want that another state might not.
Like what? White Lightnin?
Noooo. Like sanctuary cities. Some states want them. Do you? Do you want to protect criminal illegal aliens? Do you want to ban ICE, whose job is to protect YOU from harm?
No. But I wouldn’t mind a little white lightnin.
Well, I don’t have any. NOW. Suppose whoever ruled the world did want sanctuary cities. OR, suppose whoever ruled the world said “No borders!” And suppose you were from say, Florida, and lots of foreigners who wanted to take over the world started with Florida, because it’s a fun place, and they took over everything and made new rules that Floridians didn’t like and punished those who disagreed with them and…
But I’m not from Florida. I’m…
All right! Just pretend for a minute that you are, okay?
Wait a minute! Wait a minute. What if the ruler of the world was a good person? What if he was real smart, too, and tried to make friends with the other countries so maybe they could get together and agree on some rules and regulations?
Hey, good for you. Now you’re thinking…except remember the others who wanted their guy to be ruler?
Who?
Never mind. The other guys would try to stop the ruler from doing whatever he wanted and…
But suppose there wasn’t any of that?
Where are you from? Utopia? There would still be people who didn’t agree with him, who would be against him no matter what he did.
Well, for Pete’s sake! Why would he want to rule the world?
Beats the heck outa me. NOW, you’re thinking. However, some people are going to enter the contest and…
What contest?
The “If I Ruled the World” contest, and it’ll be interesting to see the kind of ruler they’d be, don’t you think?
Yeah. You gonna enter it?
No, I don’t want to ru….. sigh. Say, why don’t you enter it? That would be an eye-opener.
I might just do that. Yeah, if I ruled the world, I’d um…I’d have steak every night and…a freezer full of banana popsicles! And some white lightnin.
Atta boy.
Humorous Dialog contest entry
Did you see that contest, “If I Ruled the world?”
Yeah. What about it?
Well, I don’t think anybody should.
Should what? Enter it?
Nooo. I don’t think anybody should rule the world.
Why not?
Well, in the first place, whoever it is has got to be from a certain place. Now, if you were that person, wouldn’t you want the whole world to have rules and laws like they do where you’re from – assuming they’re good rules and they work and you like ‘em? Wouldn’t that make everything easier? Everybody copacetic?
Copa-what? Well, I never thought about that, but you know what I do think?
No, what?
It’d prob’ly be fun
Really? Why is that?
Because if I ruled the whole world, I could do anything I wanted and nobody could stop me.
Well then you’d be a dictator.
No, I wouldn’t. I’d be a king.
Right. Now would you think about this for a minute? Why nobody should rule the world?
Well, I’ll think about it, but I still think it’d be fun.
Okay, but listen. It’s just like our country. Each state governs itself in a lot of ways, according to the particulars of that state and they don’t want to be forced to do things by the Federal government that their state doesn’t like or want to do. Don’t you think that’s fair?
I guess so. I never thought…
You know, maybe you should. Think about something another state wants that you don’t, or something you want that another state might not.
Like what? White Lightnin?
Noooo. Like sanctuary cities. Some states want them. Do you? Do you want to protect criminal illegal aliens? Do you want to ban ICE, whose job is to protect YOU from harm?
No. But I wouldn’t mind a little white lightnin.
Well, I don’t have any. NOW. Suppose whoever ruled the world did want sanctuary cities. OR, suppose whoever ruled the world said “No borders!” And suppose you were from say, Florida, and lots of foreigners who wanted to take over the world started with Florida, because it’s a fun place, and they took over everything and made new rules that Floridians didn’t like and punished those who disagreed with them and…
But I’m not from Florida. I’m…
All right! Just pretend for a minute that you are, okay?
Wait a minute! Wait a minute. What if the ruler of the world was a good person? What if he was real smart, too, and tried to make friends with the other countries so maybe they could get together and agree on some rules and regulations?
Hey, good for you. Now you’re thinking…except remember the others who wanted their guy to be ruler?
Who?
Never mind. The other guys would try to stop the ruler from doing whatever he wanted and…
But suppose there wasn’t any of that?
Where are you from? Utopia? There would still be people who didn’t agree with him, who would be against him no matter what he did.
Well, for Pete’s sake! Why would he want to rule the world?
Beats the heck outa me. NOW, you’re thinking. However, some people are going to enter the contest and…
What contest?
The “If I Ruled the World” contest, and it’ll be interesting to see the kind of ruler they’d be, don’t you think?
Yeah. You gonna enter it?
No, I don’t want to ru….. sigh. Say, why don’t you enter it? That would be an eye-opener.
I might just do that. Yeah, if I ruled the world, I’d um…I’d have steak every night and…a freezer full of banana popsicles! And some white lightnin.
Atta boy.
okay, so it's semi-humorous
Pays
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