The wedding party assembled
For photos outside on the lawn.
The guests were in their Sunday best
For the marriage of Tracey and Shaun.

Grandad wore his Man.City shirt,
Nan wore her Cliff Richard top
and some had even bought new clothes
from the local Primark shop.

It was starting to get dark
as the service had taken so long.
Nothing at all had gone to plan
everything had gone wrong.

There had been a really good turnout.
Not a single empty pew
But a fight broke out in the aisle
So the service was stopped halfway through.

Security had to be called
to get the offenders out.
They dragged them off to the vestry
and gave them a bit of a clout.

When the episode was over,
the service could resume.
After a round of applause,
all eyes focused on the groom.

Amidst all the fuss and commotion
the couple went out for a fag
and on the way back they'd nipped in the loo
And decided to have a quick shag.


Then everyone started to whistle and shout
as Shaun's flys were undone
and his knob fell out.

Just as the service was about to re-start.
The vicar let out an almighty fart.

Aunt Martha had one of her turns.
Henry had one of his fits
and Tracey's dress was cut so low
everyone could see her tits.

Finally the service was over
ending with the kiss.

They filed out the church
Got the photos done
and all went out on the piss.