Sitting here on a winter's day watching the sun dance upon the water as it glistens like a million tiny diamonds. Missing you so much today like every day. The only good thing this very moment is the bright sun high above in the cloudless blue sky. Blue as your eyes.
The wind is crisp and cold. Bitter in it's attempt to freeze my bones but I'm already numb with so much feeling running through my head. Still trying to accept the truth that you are no longer here.

Sadness consumes me, more often then not, sometimes hidden behind a smiling face but it is there none the less just below the surface.
I remember everything all too clear in those last days before you went away. Some things I'll keep in my heart forever, never telling a soul, things all too precious to me.
But I held tight to your hand, still lovely but losing strength. I repeat over and over how beautiful you are while stroking your brow and silver hair, how much I love you and always will. The most wonderful mother a girl could ever ask for, speaking how proud and lucky I was to have you as my mom while tears stained my cheeks and my heart was breaking into bits as I watched you slip away.

I love you still, even more today. I did my best Mom, hope you believe that. But I truly know deep down that you already knew.
So here I sit, at the water's edge alone, writing. Sometimes my only escape. I feel closer to you here somehow, nothing between me and the heavens above. It's like time has stood still for a moment. But really life goes on all around me.
Grief because I've had great love...Yes, that is true.