She was a friend of a now ex-friend;
The blind date felt like it never would end.

The ”affair" was doomed before it started;
As soon as we met, she farted,
And without missing a beat, 
She said, "I’m starved let’s eat!”

She wasn't bad to look at,
She wasn’t too thin or fat;
But there was so much wrong with her,
I knew I didn’t belong with her.

She had a voice that annoys;
Just my luck, she waddled like a duck;
But what decidedly doomed her - 
She had no sense of humor!

It was plain that this was not to be,
Yet, inexplicably, she fell in love with me.
I still don't know why; it’s all a big blur;
I did nothing to encourage her.
And then I couldn’t discourage her!

I made it clear there was no ”we,”
But she pursued me relentlessly.
I didn’t feel the least bit flattered;
Getting rid of her was all that mattered;
Phone calls at night, ringing my bell.
How to repel this stalker from hell?

It took a court order to keep her at bay.
(I should have known sooner to do it that way.)
A non-relationship without a beginning,
Nothing in common, no joy for either, and not even sinning. ;)

I’m delighted that I’m out of it,
and there should be no doubt of it -
First impressions must be heeded;
Nuanced discretion is needed -
Subtle clues can be informing.
That fart must have been a warning!
-o-