| General Fiction posted March 15, 2017 |
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The mystery of the missing garbage
The Taming of the Shrew
by Ogden
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
Honey, someone stole the garbage!!
What? I'm coming up!
.........................................
Sherm, I keep telling you not to holler when I'm downstairs and can't hear you. Use your cell! Now, what to you mean by "Some bum rolled the garage"?
Not the garage, our garbage!
Somebody rolled up our garbage?
Yeah, they rolled it up in a pink cotton blanket they brought, because they know that's your favorite color. No! You're ridiculous! They didn't roll it! They stole it!
I'm ridiculous? I'm downstairs doing the wash, and you get me up here to tell me somebody stole the garbage?!....What have you been smoking, Sherm!?...I'm not in the mood to....
Lorrie, you think I'm nuts? Look, it's gone! They left the pail, and just took the garbage! Go look! They swiped our friggin' garbage!
.....................................................................................................................................................................................................
You're right, Sherm! The pail is empty! Don't touch anything else! The cops will get the prints of those rats, and justice will be served!...But don't worry, honey, if it's really lost, it won't take very long to replenish it with even better garbage. I know you love your garbage, but by next week you won't even remem...
Ok, cut the sarcasm, Loretta. You don't even care. You make believe material things don't matter. It could have been our car! It's the principal of the thing. Like...Now, don't say, "That's different." !t's like when you lost your ring. You even cried about it.
That's not the same thing, Sherm!
I said don't say it's different!
That's not the same thing. 'Different' and 'not the same thing' are not the same thing. They're different.
Jeez! I wish somebody could hear this! I need a witness for probable cause for what I'm thinking about doing to my wife! Lorrie, let's get back to our original argument. You do care about material stuff. Like I said, you were all broken up about a ring.
It was my engagement ring, Sherman!
So now I'm Sherman. You only call me that when you're on the defensive!
I am not! And I don't get defensive!
Yeah, lIke when the new church was finally up, and you made that speech at the ribbon-cutting ceremony, and complimented Pastor What-Was-His-Name on his beautiful erection. Right?
Sherman, I mean Sherm, dammit! You know I corrected myself right away.
Yeah, but he didn't hear you, because as soon as you said it, he answered you right away and said, "Thank you, Loretta, I thought I'd never get it up!" I wonder if he gets laughs like that where he works now.
It wasn't my fault he got canned! He should have... I just wish he had stopped at "Thank you"!!
....I'm sorry about your garbage, Sherm.
Dialogue Only Prompt writing prompt entry
Honey, someone stole the garbage!!
What? I'm coming up!
.........................................
Sherm, I keep telling you not to holler when I'm downstairs and can't hear you. Use your cell! Now, what to you mean by "Some bum rolled the garage"?
Not the garage, our garbage!
Somebody rolled up our garbage?
Yeah, they rolled it up in a pink cotton blanket they brought, because they know that's your favorite color. No! You're ridiculous! They didn't roll it! They stole it!
I'm ridiculous? I'm downstairs doing the wash, and you get me up here to tell me somebody stole the garbage?!....What have you been smoking, Sherm!?...I'm not in the mood to....
Lorrie, you think I'm nuts? Look, it's gone! They left the pail, and just took the garbage! Go look! They swiped our friggin' garbage!
.....................................................................................................................................................................................................
You're right, Sherm! The pail is empty! Don't touch anything else! The cops will get the prints of those rats, and justice will be served!...But don't worry, honey, if it's really lost, it won't take very long to replenish it with even better garbage. I know you love your garbage, but by next week you won't even remem...
Ok, cut the sarcasm, Loretta. You don't even care. You make believe material things don't matter. It could have been our car! It's the principal of the thing. Like...Now, don't say, "That's different." !t's like when you lost your ring. You even cried about it.
That's not the same thing, Sherm!
I said don't say it's different!
That's not the same thing. 'Different' and 'not the same thing' are not the same thing. They're different.
Jeez! I wish somebody could hear this! I need a witness for probable cause for what I'm thinking about doing to my wife! Lorrie, let's get back to our original argument. You do care about material stuff. Like I said, you were all broken up about a ring.
It was my engagement ring, Sherman!
So now I'm Sherman. You only call me that when you're on the defensive!
I am not! And I don't get defensive!
Yeah, lIke when the new church was finally up, and you made that speech at the ribbon-cutting ceremony, and complimented Pastor What-Was-His-Name on his beautiful erection. Right?
Sherman, I mean Sherm, dammit! You know I corrected myself right away.
Yeah, but he didn't hear you, because as soon as you said it, he answered you right away and said, "Thank you, Loretta, I thought I'd never get it up!" I wonder if he gets laughs like that where he works now.
It wasn't my fault he got canned! He should have... I just wish he had stopped at "Thank you"!!
....I'm sorry about your garbage, Sherm.
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Writing Prompt Write a story using only dialogue. No narration, descriptions, or sentence tags. Maximum word count: 1,000 |
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