I Woke Up Dead

by Ogden

You can see the definition of Dramatic Monologue below. (This is a story of a zombie recruiting a gullible mourner.)

I woke up dead!
Yes, I'm talking to you, Lou! Don't say anything!.
If you do, don't expect me to answer you, Lou.
These mourners will think that you're a nut job, of course,
if they see you schmoozing with a surely deaf corpse.
They'll stop that patent pretending that they're grieving,
and, believe me, that phony group will soon be leaving.

I know you can hear me, speaking inside your head,
And that you don't fear me, although you know I'm dead.
Sure, you're dying to know what the hell's going down.
No, I didn't mean you, Lou! Get rid of that frown.

Look, at last they're out the door. The "bereft" have left!
So now we ought to talk, and then go for a walk.
Don't look so surprised, Lou, that the dead can rise, too..
You've heard of the "walking dead" - or "zombies," instead.
Don't worry, don't you fret, I'm not a zombie yet.
(Of course, that's untrue, but don't tell Lou.
He's unwitting, and a delight, a perfect companion for tonight!)

Lou, I haven't dined yet; I'm set all for a bite.
I said not to worry, Lou, I sure won't bite you.
No, don't be wary, man. I'm vegetarian.
I'll give you the rundown on the way to the bar.
Yes, I did say bar! What the hell do you think, Lou?
It's not about you! We dead folks need to drink, too.

C'mon, lets go, I'll share what you're dying to know.
No, no, Lou, you shouldn't take that literally!
I just told you, I don't have that proclivity.
If it's after dark, it's legit if I depart.
Yes, that's the case with vampires, but walking dead, too.
You're a Doubting Thomas, Lou! It's fine to do, Lou!
Now, how do I look? I've got to take off this shroud.
I can't attract attention and gather a crowd.
Hey, Luigi, be a sport, and lend me your shorts.
There's no law against the dead walking in the street,
But a cop's sure to pinch naked dead on his beat.
Thanks for the boxers, zip yourself back up, Lou, and,
You and I, living and dead, let's paint the town red!

Now just try to look natural, as if you walk with dead pals every day.
I want to look natural, too! I don't want to scare those live gals away.

Oh, say there, chum Lou, before we try our luck, please lend me a few sawbucks.
Let's do this again tomorrow, and I'm sorry that I had to borrow.
I'll need dough to take a taxi back to that damn mortuary, you know.
My obituary would be shabby, with a headline,"Stiff Stiffs Cabby.”

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Woke Up Dead writing prompt entry

Writing Prompt
Write a poem that includes the line: I woke up dead

Dramatic Monologue Poem:
A type of poem, derived from the theater, in which a speaker addresses an internal listener or the reader. In some dramatic monologues, especially those by Robert Browning, the speaker may reveal his personality in unexpected and unflattering ways.

Glossary:
schmooze - talk in a friendly manner
proclivity - a habitual inclination or tendency to do something
sawbuck - a ten dollar bill
cabby - a taxi (taxi cab) driver

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I Woke Up Dead

by Ogden

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