Satire Fiction posted October 13, 2016


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The story of Mc Duck's campaign and his election.

Scrooge Mc Duck for President

by HarryT


Kelly Conhen accepted the position of campaign manager for Scrooge Mc Duck. She knew Mc Duck hated his rival, Gertrude Goose. Goose's husband had been president of the Fowl Kingdom for eight years.

Conhen's initial pitch to the public was to tout Mc Duck's business acumen against Mrs. Goose. Mc Duck claims she knows zilch about business because she has been doing nothing, but paddling around the government pond for thirty years.

Conhen also says that one of Mc Duck's chief qualities is he is his own duck. He isn't beholden to special interests or to the leaders of the Conservative Fowl.

Mc Duck said, "I'm an outsider. I don't swim in the government pond. I alone have the knowledge to make the Kingdom of Fowl, great again. When asked how? He said, "I have a secret plan. Trust me."

No fowl knows how rich Mc Duck is or what his entanglements might be with other kingdoms, especially, the Bear Kingdom. He also refuses to release his tax returns, which candidates have always done. However, he is rich, in 2012, "Billfold," the magazine of the top 1% calculated that Mc Duck's money bin contained at least $31.2 billion.

Conhen was put on the defensive and appeared on the Sunday morning talk shows after Scrooge's cousin's leaked to the press how Scrooge reacted when he was told the story of Robin Swan-Hood. She said, "Little Scrooge cried, stamp his feet and screamed, "Robin was wrong! You get nothing from helping the poor. If Robin Swan-Hood was smart, he'd rob the middle class, ignore the poor, and relish his gains." An idea Mc Duck has invoked in his businesses by cheating people who worked for him and spending lavishly on himself.

Conhen tried buffer the story by switching the conversation to Mc Duck's qualities. She praised him for his knowledge of female fowl saying, "He was the owner of the Miss Beautiful Bird Contest, he knows how to get under a female's feathers." Conhen blanched, when she realized what she said. "I mean he knows what women want. After all, he has three "Glittering Goldies" on his pond."

She quickly changed the topic again. "He's wise in the ways of fowl finances. Do you know he went billrupt six times and is still a billionaire that makes him a smart duck. When he says, 'Trust me, I will fix things.' He will and the kingdom will be great again."

The ignorant fowl of the kingdom did trust Mc Duck and they elected him. However, his arrogant manner didn't work. Kelly Conhen admitted he was the biggest fraud in the history of fowl country. When Conhen was asked if she read the book by Bob Woodduck, columnist for the Daily Quack, she gloomily said, "If it's bad, I don't want to read it." Kelly stamped her little, web foot and waddled away.



Political Humor contest entry
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