I was sitting on the porch, drinking lemonade, when I saw my neighbour, Mrs Lee, walking up her path carrying a bag full of groceries.

Mrs Lee is very unpleasant. Whenever I can, I avoid her. This time, I pretended to look down at the glass in my hands with great interest, till I heard a big clunky noise. I looked up and saw she had fallen. The contents of her bag were spread out on the lawn and she was lying on her back.

It had to be done, I had to help her. I briefly considered calling the Fire Brigade and telling them what had happened, but decided against it. They might think I was wasting their time.

I walked towards her, my heart in my mouth.

'Good afternoon, Mrs Lee,' I said.

'What's good about it?' she retorted. 'Come on, help me stand up, young man.'

I did as I was told, but it was tough. She was a lot heavier than me and didn't do much to help.

'Pull, pull,' she kept on shouting.

'I AM pulling,'

I managed to make her stand on the fifth try. By then, I was desperate to get to the safety of my own home, but I had to help her pick up her groceries.

I paced around her garden, finding a tomato here and a tin there, till she was satisfied we had everything.

'Do you want me to carry this for for you?'

'What a stupid question! I'm in no fit state to carry anything myself.'

When we got to her front door, she turned around and got the groceries.

'Give me my bag. I hope you haven't stolen anything from me. I'll call the cops if you have,' she said, slamming the door on my face.