I tried and tried to mend your broken heart.
I begged forgiveness, but you turned away.
So sure I was I'd die if we should part,
as if I'd ne'er again see light of day!
Though loneliness, unbearable, was born,
it hasn't left its stamp upon my heart -
my steadfast faith in God won't let me mourn,
though unforgiving, you've kept us apart.
But dawn's the victor over darkest night,
and sunshine works to conquer guilty pain
that visits like some specter void of light,
and haunts its victim o'er and o'er again.
No more can I believe there was a plan,
for mine was made with you - hardhearted man.
II
For mine was made with you - hardhearted man.
You've steeled yourself, and now all's gone awry.
I understand a temporary ban -
I've searched my soul, and ask the heavens why
a thing so unimportant could destroy
a love I thought would last eternally.
The answer is, we weren't meant to enjoy
more than each other's friendly company,
but I, confused and feeling so alone,
surrendered to your tempting, luscious lips!
There's no way I can find to now atone
for being weak, for causing heart's eclipse,
and I will live forever with this pain!
I swear to God, I'm sorry yet again!
III
I swear to God, I'm sorry yet again!
But twenty years must buy a memory
too precious to ignore, or to refrain
from finding yourself staying friends with me.
We lived without the passion for so long!
I know you felt the reason was my heart
belonged to someone else - but you were wrong -
I took it back right from the very start,
and gave it to the one who came to be
the dearest friend that I have ever had -
in fact you were like closest family,
the hist'ry with my siblings far too sad -
we'd parted ways, each needing a new life.
I thought I'd be your ever-loving wife...
IV
I thought I'd be your ever-loving wife,
not realizing you could read my heart
and know there'd been a love so full, so rife
with passion, he and I weren't meant to part.
Though time can change so deftly how we feel,
and though I didn't know it, nor did you,
I slowly came to know my love was real -
but nevermore for him - for us - we two!
Yes, time can forge a diamond from some coal!
I know you are the only man for me.
I wish to God that I could make you whole,
that I could somehow, some way make you see
that you became entrenched inside my soul.
and when you left, you left a gaping hole.
V
And when you left, you left a gaping hole,
so dark, there's barely reason to go on.
Just service to our Lord, the only goal
to keep up strength, to not let devils spawn
dismay - it lives, especially at night -
the loss of you is loss of precious hope,
and something new - a kind of dreadful fright
that I am weaker than I knew - can't cope!
But these are thoughts that rise up with the moon -
at least I tell myself that this is so
as sleep evades, and I am faced with ruin,
and all because you felt you had to go.
I've tried to rediscover who I am,
to learn if all this really was God's plan.
VI
To learn if all this really was God's plan,
I stumble from our bed each day anew,
resolving I'll go on - that's if I can
when you're determined that we're really through.
But truth be known, I'm hiding from it all,
I sleep a fitful sleep for hours a day.
Sometimes it's all that I can do to crawl
outside my hurt and sorrow - there's no way
I want to face you've found a new romance,
and yet, I wish you every kind of joy!
God knows, with me we rarely found our dance,
although her sweetness must begin to cloy -
imagine that she had the nerve to say
she loved you, and that I must stay away!
VII
She loved you, and that I must stay away
is really what has made me know you've gone.
So I must face this awful news, and pray
that each time I arise with golden dawn
my life is blessed, and your life will be too.
I took for granted that you'd always stay,
although somehow inside I really knew
accepting your neglect was no good way
to let you know my heart had changed with time.
I must let go - be glad that I'm alive!
I've learned this arduous and painful climb
was all because an old love should not thrive.
I wish I'd known, right from the very start...
I tried and tried to mend your broken heart.
