She is angry, feeling trapped. She looks into my eyes; I hear her voice in my mind, pleading, "Don't let him watch". She is being washed and dressed by the nurses; he is her husband. He stands over her watching touching, looking.
We cannot leave her alone with her future killer.

My baby sister, Only thirty two years old. Mother of eight frightened little children. She has just lost the only baby made in love.
She went down in a shopping mall immediately aborting the baby.
Now unable to move, or speak.

The doctors say she is brain dead, but her eyes say different; telling of fear and humiliation.

When in control, she could keep him away, only waiting for the final divorce papers. He is still legally her husband and has the right to decide her and the children's fate.

She was just past fifteen when dad and mom turned her over to the "Priesthood". They told her that she would marry a boy she did not know (no body's catch). She obeyed revealing nothing of her life of hell until just before she died. Even then we only knew because of her writings, most read later.

This boys twisted sexual habits forced her to scrub her body and mouth with a tooth brush until she bled.

Many times she had no food for the kids. Her father in law would check in telling her that if she satisfied her husband he would provide food for her babies.

One baby died before birth, another was born mentally retarded from lack of nutrition.

Not allowed birth control, giving birth to one after another she was so depleted she could hardly walk.

When her youngest was four she took them out of the polygamist town she had been born in.

Moving into a two bedroom trailer with a sister, making a total of twelve children and two adults living there.

She put the kids in school, working hard to help them catch up on their education.

She filed for divorce.

She was smiling again. The kids were adjusting, all of them feeling more secure.

For the first time in her life she began feeling beautiful. She was asked out by a few men and finally said yes to one.

She was so innocent; never really educated about birth control and never thinking a simple date would go so far.
A few dates later they she and this man, think they are in love.

For the first time she experiences love and sex together, but he gets overwhelmed with the responsibility of her family. Both are reluctant to commit, so they separate.

Still she thinks of him and glows. She is pregnant, although frightened, she wants this baby. Her youngest is five and all of them are excited about it coming.

Standing in a court room. Two months pregnant, with her father by her side, she fights for her children.

Their father is using the unborn babe as a reason for her to loose custody.

Before strangers this shy quiet mother talks about times her kids went hungry.She Tells them how the town treated them, and what she has achieved, telling them this baby was conceived in love and she won't give any of her children up.

The court grants her all.

Christmas is close; they are happy, shopping for small things for each other. The future for them is bright; they are almost free.


Suddenly she goes down, unconscious when paramedics come. We are told the baby boy was immediately lost she is in a coma her body bleeding from every pore.

She has a head trauma, she hit her head as she fell.

The doctors tell us she may never speak again. We do not accept this, taking turns by her side.

We fight for her children. The father immediately tried to take them. He is telling them "Moma is bad, pray for her to die".

When she is stabilized he moves her to a rest home operated by people in the group.

I hear a patient in the same room saying "Why don't you let her die?".
She is on a respirator, it is old and loud with a tube in her throat.
We her sisters decide to take her home and care for her, it is important to keep one of us with her at all times.

The rest home people are abusive. A nurse that worked there in the past tells about things that make us uneasy.

We see she wasn't washed properly, her feet are smelly but when we try to clean them they make us leave.

We are certain her husband and family are causing this hostility from the staff.

Two of us go to talk to her. We are leaving for a couple of days; We tell her "When we come back we are taking you home".

Standing by her bed crying we tell her "We love you", unexpectedly she forms the words :"I love you".

It is impossible to express the joy of that moment, knowing with care she will be okay. Our faith is strong. Other sisters will watch over her.

A call comes through, we are in the middle of a wedding, a day of double joy because we know she is recovering. But She is dead.

Our big sister later tells us the staff refused to let her sit by her side, forcing her to leave.

Even then after her death her monster husband motivated by his father is in control "It is the law" we are told.

We are not welcomed at the funeral in the town cemetery or allowed to participate. So we conduct a small reception at the mortuary.

They bury her in the towns cemetery. We sit toward the back helplessly watching people standing over her, talking about how evil she was.

Her five year old holding her arms out to us screaming, held back by an hate filled grandmother; saying "No they are evil".

When her mother went to the hospital this five year old asked her aunt "If my mom dies, can I please live with you".

We are not allowed to see the children, we take the case to court, It appears we will be allowed to help raise them, Then court calls a break. Coming back our judge is gone; replaced by one on the polygamast groups payroll.We Go home defeated.

The kids are taken to a polygamist home where a known child molester lives. All pictures of their mom taken away.

All my life I have been told when someone died "They are happier there". A lie; She mama be happy where she was. She would never leave her children in this situation.

We were never given the actual reason for her death. I am certain her husband or his father caused it.

They had one night before we removed her from their reach, (perhaps it was the ancient respirator).

This polygamist cult taught that in gods name it is not wrong for a husband to help or instruct a wayward wife to end her life.

Some even supplied pills to do so. They told themselves they were saving their souls.

This husband was instructed by his father, being a lesser son; said to have bad blood from his mother he strove to please his father. Feeling inadequate, he would do anything he was told.

Especially because He was told if he didn't he would never receive more wives.

I have to ask "WHERE THE HELL WAS GOD".