Humor Fiction posted January 15, 2015

This work has reached the exceptional level
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by Deniz22

1. This is the first review I have received and is as helpful as any so far.

2. I am truly sorry a missing "s" from Mississippi has ruined my 1,500 word essay on the future of the human race for you.

3. Thank you! Your fine eye for detail has saved me from the tragedy of a misplaced comma.

4. Please accept my heart-felt gratitude for the lesson on the proper use of lay and lie. I would be unable to lay asleep in my bed had you not laid this information on me. And that's no lie!

5. You r sew rite, but unftunatly, my spill chick is no working.

6. I appreciate your help, but feel it dishonest to publish my piece on shell fishing as my own now. Your excellent editing has morphed it into a mystery about a missing pearl necklace. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

7. I am honored at your offer to lend me your Penguins in place of my missing muse...but their fishy breath...thanks anyway.

8. Thanks, I think anyone with the name "Spitfire" is probably absolutely correct.

9. You think putting a cute picture of my grandchildren on this piece would help? Really? A piece on an axe murderer? OK, you know best...

10. Your review is lovely, like for a Penguin? They taste like chicken.

11. I am honored by your review, even though it seems a bit harsh to kick me off FS. But you man, Tom.

12. I'm sorry, I could not fully appreciate your review, as it seemed to be a bit incoherent and rambled on and on...interesting though. Always interesting...

13. I marvel at your courage in writing such a...shall we say SEARCHING review...since I note that you have been on FS for approximately two days. The one star you gave me gives me hope and shows your compassion ... it's a single star of hope in my black sky of present inadequacy.

14. This is the nicest review I have ever received...and the longest! 1000 words of the most detailed review ever! But alas! I see you are new here and apparently misinformed. I'm sorry to say you do not get ten cents a word and especially not in real money. Not from me and for sure not from Tom. I will treasure this, however.

15. It is good of you to offer to "take me under your wing" and help me become a better writer. However, I am sorry to say the idea of a mentor with one wing creeps me out a bit. But thanks anyway...perhaps you could look in the horror genre for a more suitable prote'ge'?


Remember, you must say SOMETHING in response to reviews. You can't follow Mommy's advice; "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." But you can follow my advice and say something nice I did.
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