Sports Fiction posted June 22, 2014 |
Some traditions die hard...or they simply reanimate.
The ZFL is Dead
by Dean Kuch
Sports Comedy Ftbl Team Histories Contest Winner
The ZFL is Dead: Long Live the New UFL's Racers
The beloved UFL almost went to hell after the world caved in and the virus took over. For the most part, the world and the league eventually learned how to deal with the aftermath and eventually recovered. One man in particular made the best of a bad situation.
Damien Smythe founded the ZFL in the fall of 2001 to compete head-to-head with the established Ultimate Football League after the brunt of the deadly world-wide viral epidemic had been halted. In 2002, the UFL's Akron Ohio Racers ran afoul of financial woes and subsequently folded. Smythe sued the league, forcing it to absorb one of the teams, the Washington Shamblers, from his failed league. The League had talked recently of expansion into countries like Great Britain and Mexico, yet this decision was unheralded. Never before had these — things — been given any more consideration than a well-aimed bullet to the head. Soon, they had their own football league and huge television contract. Said new UFL Commissioner Al Davis, “Transplanted dead-heads, moved from Washington to Ohio. That's not too big of a stretch. They should feel right at home in their new digs.”
Defunct Zombie Football League Logo
It was agreed that since Ohio was a fairly dead state already, the Washington Shamblers of the now defunct Zombie Football League would be absorbed into the UFL, donning the old uniforms of the Akron, Ohio Racers. Smythe & Partners, Ltd. was forced by the UFL to pay for the rights to the Racer name. Considerations had to be made with regards to special face guards to prevent the biting of players from competing teams. Once perennial bottom dwellers within the league, these virtually unstoppable monstrosities quickly began to run roughshod over their divisional rivals. Actually, they really didn't do too much running at all, when you get right down to it. Still, once they have you cornered, their tenacity and voracious appetite for winning —and the occasional cheerleader or referee — is astounding. The Racers, or "Dead-Heads", as their hungrily growing fan base has affectionately dubbed them, is now mounting an aggressive ad campaign to get the team's new season off the ground.
Akron Ohio Racer's Launch New Ad Campaign
Writing Prompt 2-3 paragraphs each for the History of 40 imaginary Football Teams for inclusion in an American Football Board Game. You will be paid for every history that is used. |
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