Humor Fiction posted June 5, 2014


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green, green it's the only way 2 go

Confessions of a Quiet Green Hero

by Deniz22


Confessions of a Quiet Green Hero.


I get it. We need to save the planet. We're already buying water, will air be next? So I'm doing my part, quietly. Never one to blow my own horn, I seek to contribute unobtrusively in saving planet earth.

My efforts may lack publicity, but they will be consistent. No grand campaigns, no sign waving fanaticism, but rather an unswerving commitment to a minuscule daily advancement in going green.

Like this week, for instance. I rode to work and back home with Fred every day. Big deal, right? No, small deal DAILY, but it added up to a week of only using one car instead of two. Fred does have to come five miles out of the way, but frankly it's good for him to have company on the ride to and fro. He seems kind of depressed, even...dare I say it... downright moody. I try to cheer him up by reminding him that my car staying in the driveway while we use his, makes for one less polluter on the road. He said tonight that I would have to find another ride to work. Some just don't have the committal to the planet that I do.

"Think small, but green it all" is my motto. Only last night, I was thinking about that half-gallon of Rocky Road ice cream in the freezer. It's my wife's favorite kind but I'm trying to be strong for her too in this environmental endeavor. Now, there hasn't yet been a scientific study on exactly how many units of energy are used by a freezer to keep a half-gallon of Rocky Road ice cream frozen, but you can believe it's significant. Think of all the households where this criminal waste of energy goes on. It's probably only a matter of time before someone gets a grant from the government to tally it all up and make it a fact.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized it was my duty to eat that ice cream. Along with the sweet taste was a feeling of satisfaction; green is good! But with progress and commitment comes opposition. She scoffed at my rationale and questioned my motives. Imagine!

Another thing I did was to literally "go green" with my lawn. I'm not going to endanger the water supply of America by fertilizing my lawn. And I haven't been cutting my grass all summer and I'm not going to cut it. That air-polluting lawn mower is resting in the garage. At least, that was my intention. We live in a gated community of nice houses and I came home to find a half dozen of my neighbors cutting my grass. I'm proud to say they got no help from me in killing the earth.

I look at life now through green shades. The house needs painting but who can add up the atrocities (environmentally speaking) by both the manufacturing of paint and the application of same? No, I am determined to hold out on painting the house. What is a coat of paint in the grand scheme of things? The planet is at stake! Of course, I still live in this gated community and sometimes these neighbors have been known to take matters into their own hands...







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