To Boldly Go

"Status report."

"We're trapped, captain; Miki's trying to find a way out."

"What is this thing we're in?"

"Don't know, cap- our instruments aren't working too well, too much electrical interference from outside."

Captain Akron Pro, feeling just a little nauseous gripped the arm rest of his chair. On the deck below his crew twiddled knobs, pushed buttons and tried to remain calm.

"Damn it, Nuetron, I need a status report," he shouted at his first navigator.

"We're trying captain, give us a few secs."

"That's something we may not have."

Pro, feeling just a little useless in his comfy chair, pressed the intercom button on his arm rest.

"What's going on down there,Tander? What's the fuel situation like?"

The intercom crackled and a voice which sounded like it was coming from inside a metal tube replied, "We've enough for now, but we need to get out of here soon. The fuel cells need a boost of sunlight."

That's all we need now, Pro thought to himself. The situation had potential to become desperate and if he lost the ship he'd never live it down- the Fleet's greatest interstellar explorer a failure on a simple mission.

"I've got something, captain," Nuetron shouted.

"Go on."

"Scans reveal we're inside a huge metal box. The walls are made of an alloy of iron and carbon, commonly called steel on this planet. The box has an electrical system and is operated by a primitive winch employing steel cables with a high torque. Intel says the box is referred to as an elevator."

"What is the purpose of this elevator?"

"For transportation, sir?"

"Transportation? From where to where?

"Usually between levels in buildings?"

"Have they no teleportation tubes?

"Not that the checks reveal?"

"Can these elevator's transport over great distances?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Primitives."

"Maybe, captain. The scanners are also revealing life forms," Nuetron said with a shaky voice.

"Go on man."

"Eleven life forms with three that are potentially deadly. On one of the walls is a control panel for locomotion and communication. This panel is infested with bacteriophages and viruses. Most are harmless but there are huge colonies of Escherichia coli, Staphylococcus aureus and Orthomyviridae- the flu; nasty."

Captain Pro shook his head. Nuetron went on.

"There is also, on the roof, a dead member of the rodent family- Rattus norvegicus- the brown rat. A nasty creature which not only carries disease, but also eats pretty much any organic matter it comes across. Oh and there's a human standing in the centre of the elevator."

"Human- they're not dangerous," Pro said smiling, "Have you worked out how to get out of here?"

"Not yet sir. The metal's too thick for blasters and the ship's too big to get through the gaps in between the doors."

"How did we get in this thing anyway?"

"We followed that creature sir." Neutron checked his notes and went on, "The Dipteran- Musca domestica- the common house fly. You wanted to study its propulsion system."

"And where is this Dipteran now?"

"It's not in the elevator sir."

"Give me a status report on the human."

"Yes sir."

The craft changed course and flew around the human. It seemed agitated, the movements of its body causing vortexes and turbulence.

"Steady," Pro shouted.

The craft made one more pass. Nuetron gave the captain the report. "The subject is of the male variety. Thirty eight years old, one hundred and ninety four pounds, good muscle structure in place underneath a layer of subcutaneous fat made of complex lipid molecules. The subject has four tears to the epidermal layer covering his body and one is infected with Tinea corporis- common name ringworm. Scanners are detecting that he is inhaling air with a composition of seventy eight percent nitrogen, twenty one percent oxygen and trace volumes of argon and that he is exhaling seventy eight percent nitrogen, sixteen percent oxygen and four percent carbon dioxide."

Pro scribbled notes as his navigator spoke.

"The human's lungs appear to be working at around eighty percent. I'm detecting constriction in his alveoli, possibly caused by a combination of illness and ingestion. Scanners read that he has recently ingested large amounts of complex ketones and nicotine."

"Give me audio," Pro ordered.

Miki, flipped a switch and the outside sounds filtered into the ship.

"Hello, hello, can you hear me?" The human shouted. "It's Bill from the ninth, the damn lifts stuck again, third time this month."

"An engineer has been informed and will be there when he can."

"Well how long is he going to be?"

"Our engineer cannot give a time. He has been told and he will be there when time dictates."

"Well, what am I supposed to do until then?"

"Look, just sit tight sir. We know that you are trapped. We'll get there as soon as we can."

"Easy for you to say. Bye."

Pro ordered the blast shields up and the crew gawped at the human.

"Why are they so big?" Miki asked no one in particular.

"Who can explain anything on this planet," Nuetron added.

The crew watched as Human Bill sat down in the corner. He tugged at clothing which was constricting his neck and let out a huge burst of breath. The ship rocked and Pro ordered them to get higher.

"What do we do now, captain?"

"Keep scanning the walls, there must be a breach somewhere."

"Yes, captain."

Bill, sitting on the floor started to speak. "Hey Bill, don't think it so bad, its a sad time but make it better."

"What is he doing?" Pro asked.

"It's called singing captain. The computer says it's a parody of a song called Hey Jude by the Beatles."

"They have singing coleopterans on this planet?"

"Not beetles sir; Beatles as in band and musical beat. They were very popular at one time here sir."

"This planet confuses me."

"Its not too bad..."

Neutron was cut off mid-sentence. Bill now standing erect was swishing his arms about. The air became like a choppy sea and the ship rocked back and forth.

"What's happening?" Pro shouted.

"It appears the human has become agitated sir. He is trying to bring us down."

"Get the audio back up."

Miki flipped the switch.

"Damn fly, I hate you. Disease-ridden scumbag, get out of here," Bill shouted as he threw his arms about."

The crew were thrown about inside. Alarms and flashing lights filled the deck. Pro shouted orders and some of the crew screamed in terror. They watched as bill selected a weapon. A huge, long, cylindrical object which was in his right hand flew back and forth across the ship. With no escape route discovered yet

Pro gave the only order he could."Attack," he shouted, "cannons at max."

"Aye, captain." Nuetron shouted.

The ship, in attack mode, attacked in wave after wave. The lasers hit their target but had no effect. Bill enraged by the high pitched buzzing the fly was making batted away with his weapon with improved ferocity.

"Evasive, evasive..." Pro shouted, but it was too late. The weapon clipped the ship and it nose-dived to the floor.

Inside smoke and fire filled the craft. Crew members bloody and broken lay strewn about, moaning in pain. Pro, coughing up blood haled himself over to the intercom. With a bloody shaking finger he pressed and said, "Damage report."

"Not good, captain. The main engine's gone, shields are at seven percent, the fuel cells are damaged beyond repair and the back-up engine doesn't look good. The hulls intact, but the crack on the cockpit window could go any second."

Pro coughed and hit the emergency signal button. The mother ship was informed of the situation and Pro knew that they would have already sent a rescue ship for them. All they had to do was survive until they arrived.

Pro crawled over to the window and peered out. The human was looking around. "Where are you fly," he was heard saying through the audio equipment. "Ah there you are, time to finish you off little guy."

A huge shadow loomed over the stricken ship. Pro, said what he thought would be his last words, "Goodbye men, it's been a pleasure serving with you."

He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable, but it never came. There was a loud whirling noise and the whole ship vibrated.

"At last," he heard Bill shout as the elevator started working.

The elevator sped to the ground and Bill, relieved, forgot all about the fly.

The doors pinged open and Pro saw the smiling face on anther human.

"About bloody time too," Bill said and walked away.

"Soon have you fixed," the new human said.

"Captain Pro, can you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Captain, we have been dispatched to come get you. Sit tight, we'll be there as fast as we can."

"Thank you."

Pro, relieved, exhaled. He ordered those fit to help those injured and all spare staff were sent to the engine room to help fix the engines. He pulled himself up and sat on his chair. The elevator doors were open and he could see the freedom, which had been denied for so long to them, tantalisingly close.

The other human, fixing the elevator was joined by another of the species. This one was dragging, a large piece of machinery with a long hose type appendage.

"Can I vacuum in there?" She said.

"Sure, go ahead, It's going to be out of action for a while anyway."

Pro watched as the machine sprung to life. A deafening roar filled the cockpit. The ship, rocked by fast flowing air, spun around on the ground. Pro and the crew held on for dear life.

"Where are you?" He shouted.

Over the intercom the captain of the rescue ship spoke, "Pro, Pro can you hear me. We are approaching your position. Engagement will be in a few seconds."

The cabin got dark and Pro closed his eyes. He could feel the ship lift up.

He'd open them when it stopped.