I Am He

Depression swallows me
It engulfs destiny
And makes derelict
The sights I see
It is a woeful existence
It is a sadness
Beyond pity
It obliterates
Without warning
The spirit
Of eternal ego
It foils the mind
And spoils the soul
To darkness......
And I am sad for myself

And I am sad for my loss
What loss
For sure
I cannot say
I cannot see beyond myself
I am blinded
From within
My time fades
And it is dark
And I feel pain


Depression is
Its own logic
It bends thoughts
And curses emotions
It destroys identity
And ruins reality
It is a blackness
When dreams
Become nightmares
And you are too scared
To wake


I am not me
I am probably he
Me is happiness
I am not me
I want to be me
I don't want to be he


Families fade
Friends forget days
Where have all the good people gone
I miss the past
Those days of friendships
When children laughed
And faces had names
I miss all the people
I miss all the games


My thoughts betray
My ideas decay

I live in a world of darkness
Am I portended by Lucifer
To suffer through eternity
In a living Hell


I live in sorrowful days
Those other days
When life turned sad
And black overtook
The life I had
I prayed to Heaven then
I pray to God now

Lord of my father
Hear me
I am blinded
By life
It is death that I see
I am afraid for myself

I don't want to be he