Flawed Perception


My head spins in different directions
First to the right
Then to the left
Sometimes it bobs up
Sometimes it slides down

Its like being afloat in rough waters
Whirlpools of current grabbing in crab claw grips
Sometimes swirling counter clockwise
Sometimes circling clockwise

It spins
Not knowing where I face
Not knowing where I am going
I get lost in an eddy of diffusion and illusion

My ears hear three sounds
Right one screeching
Left one whistling
Together a third
A sound of gibberish and confusion
Sometimes there are soft sounds
Like an air gauge blowing up balloons in my head
Putting uneven pressure in my ears

Nausea is such a distinct award
A trophy for non conformity
Of the body and the mind

I forget what I did
I forget what I didn't
It does not bode well
For a life of sacred realities

It contradicts
All
That was taught
All
That was learned
All
That was planned

Dissolved in a cloud of black confusion
I carry on
I don't know why