| General Fiction posted April 27, 2013 | Chapters: |
...10 11 -12- 13... 
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More Summer Adventures for Rabbit and Virge
A chapter in the book Rabbit
Chapter 12, Part One, Snakes
by bhogg
| Background The young boy, nicknamed Rabbit, learns his mother is having a baby. To make things easier on Mom, he and his older brother John are to stay the 1959 summer with Grandparents. |
You don't need alarm clocks on a farm. The rooster had started his loud pronouncement about ten minutes earlier. I wasn't in a hurry to get up. My grandparents' house has only one bathroom. I'd been there all summer, so knew the routine by now. Grandma gets there first. Even though they have indoor plumbing, they still have a thunder bucket in their bedroom. The first sound I hear is the sound of that bucket swinging, eeeenh, eeenh, eeenh, and then I hear her dumping it. She then does her routine, which is pretty quick. Grandpa's turn is next and God is he loud. There's all sorts of grunting and groaning. It seems strange, but he always clears his throat, hawks into the toilet then pees. He shaves with an old fashioned straight razor. He strops it before each use, swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. Once finished, he splashes on Old Spice ® and utters, "Ahhhh." When I smell the after shave, I know it's about my time.
It was kind of a sad day, to start a sad week. There were only six more days before I'd be heading home to Alabama. To me, the summer seemed to disappear. As bad as the week was for me, little did I know it would be even worse for my grandma.
Of course, I'd be able to see my new baby sister for the first time. My grandma showed me a picture and asked, "Now, isn't she the cutest thing?"
I've been told I'm a sensitive person. Maybe I am, because I replied, "Yes Ma'am, she sure is." All the time, I was thinking she looked like a shriveled up frog.
The bathroom was finally free. My turn was next, which was a good thing. Finishing up, I headed to the kitchen for breakfast. Almost rounding the corner from the dining room to the kitchen, I stopped. Grandma and Grandpa were arguing, which was very unusual. Grandpa thinks he's the boss, but as far as I could remember, he ain't never been right.
I stopped. Not that I was eavesdropping, but it didn't seem right for me to keep going. I heard my grandpa say, "Hell no, I ain't jealous. It's just that I found that note about your boyfriend."
Loudly, my grandma asked, "What in the world are you talking about?"
"Now Louise, I'm not stupid, I found the note. It said, 'Don't forget to pick up Curly Kale.' So, I want to know. Who the hell is Curly Kale?"
I couldn't help myself. I started snickering. From around the corner, I heard my grandma say, "Alright, Rabbit, I know you're in there. Come on around the corner."
Glaring at Grandpa, she said, "Even Rabbit knows about Curly Kale."
"He does? Who is he?"
Giggling, I said, "He ain't no he. It's more like an it. Curly Kale is that green stuff that Grandma makes that's like turnip greens, only better. We had it two nights ago with cornbread and fried pork chops. Between you and me, we ate it all up."
With a sheepish grin, Grandpa said, "I knew that. I was just clowning around." He took another bite of eggs and biscuit. Grandma just rolled her eyes. She did pat me on the head.
When Grandpa left to get ready for work, Grandma sat next to me. She brought her coffee and fixed one for me. Well, I call it coffee, Grandpa calls it cream and sugar with a little coffee for flavor.
"Well, Rabbit, it's your last week here on the farm. We sure are going to miss you."
Her eyes were red and a little misty. I guess she was a bit sad. I felt pretty sad too, but I wasn't going to cry. I'm pretty sure my eyes were red, but I get real bad allergies in late summer, that's all.
"You know, since it's your last week, you don't have to do your chores. I want you to know I've been proud of you all summer. You do your chores each day without complaining or putting them off. You've been a joy."
I sniffled through my allergies before saying, "I want to do my chores. It's what I do, plus I've gotten used to those dumb old chickens. You reckon they're going to miss me?"
With a big old smile, she said, "I reckon they will."
I went out to my job, first feeding the chickens and gathering eggs. I checked in on the brooder room. There were some new chicks I wanted to see. What I saw was strange. The chicks were gone, or at least mostly gone. There were a bunch of feathers and a half of one chick. From their nest, a head backed out, a big old snake head. Rushing out and looking behind the shed, there was a huge snake coiled up. He just looked at me and flitted his tongue in and out.
Running inside to get my grandmother was troublesome. Even though she lived in the country all her life, she was deathly afraid of snakes. They were her chickens though, so I thought she should know. I explained the situation and she came out. It was like though, she had one foot back so she could turn around and run if need be. We crept around to the back of the pen and there that old snake was. It was like he was in no hurry, just sunning himself and looking proud.
Keeping that foot back seemed to work for her. She shrieked, "Good God!" Turning back, she almost ran me over. When we got around to the front of the shed, she said, "Go get Virge to come and kill this snake."
I said, "Grandma, I can kill it if you want. I figure a shovel ought to do the trick."
She quickly said, "No, I want you to go get Virge. He'll know what to do."
I shrugged my shoulders and went to get Virge. His cabin was about a quarter mile away. I ran, which was pretty much what I did all the time anyhow. Virge was on his front porch in his rocking chair. He saw me and said, "Hey, Rabbit, what you in such a big hurry for this morning?"
Catching my breath, I blurted, "A big old snake has gotten into the brood pen and killed some chicks. Grandma wants you to come kill it."
"Rabbit, slow down a bit. Go on over to the hand pump and get yourself a drink of water."
Filling the dipper, I had a nice cool drink.
"Okay, come back and sit on the porch and tell me about this snake."
Sliding my butt onto the step and taking a breath, I began, "It's a big old snake. I bet he's as long as I'm tall."
"Okay, let's talk about what that snake was like. Was his head big and shaped like the head of a shovel?"
"Virge, I gotta tell you, I don't know if it was shaped like a shovel head or not. It was a snake head and it was connected to a snake. Who gives a shit what his head looked like?"
Virge tapped the ashes out of his pipe before sharply saying, "Now, Rabbit, you know that "S" word ain't something you use. I'm just trying to get a feel for what type of snake you got down there. Let me ask you something else. Was he colored up like the ground and leaves, or what?"
Scratching my head, I answered, "He wasn't colored like leaves at all. He was black and had white stripes."
Virge smiled before replying, "That's great. What we got us is an Eastern kingsnake. As far as snakes go, they don't come no better."
"Well, are you going to go down and kill it?"
"No, I ain't going to kill it. God's got a plan for all of his critters. They've all got a place in this world. I've known your grandma all her life and I know she's scared to death of snakes. Her brother played a mean trick on her when she was about six years old. He put a dead snake all coiled up in the outhouse where he knew she would see it. I could hear her scream all way up at my house. I ran down and removed it."
"Did her brother get in trouble?"
Virge laughed. "He sure did. I whopped him with a switch. He ran off and told his daddy. He came out and asked me for my switch and he whopped him too. Maybe the two of us beat some sense in him. He wound up being a pretty good boy."
"What we're going to do is go get that snake. Old Virge would like to have him as a pet. Kingsnakes are smart. Down there, he's eating chicks which ain't good. I'll put him underneath my house. He'll eat rats and mice. They even eat copperheads and other poisonous snakes."
"What you going to do when he eats up all the mice and rats? I don't believe you got a whole bunch of snakes up there."
"That's a good question and I got a good answer. I'll go catch him some rats or mice. The barn is full of them. Shoot, I might even let him sleep over at the barn some time."
"Virge, you say that God's got a plan for all critters, but rats and mice are pretty worthless aren't they?"
"No, they ain't, Rabbit. You just got to understand the circular nature of life."
"I don't get it. How can a rat or mouse be important?"
Virge smiled before replying, "Well, a snakes gotta eat."
It was kind of a sad day, to start a sad week. There were only six more days before I'd be heading home to Alabama. To me, the summer seemed to disappear. As bad as the week was for me, little did I know it would be even worse for my grandma.
Of course, I'd be able to see my new baby sister for the first time. My grandma showed me a picture and asked, "Now, isn't she the cutest thing?"
I've been told I'm a sensitive person. Maybe I am, because I replied, "Yes Ma'am, she sure is." All the time, I was thinking she looked like a shriveled up frog.
The bathroom was finally free. My turn was next, which was a good thing. Finishing up, I headed to the kitchen for breakfast. Almost rounding the corner from the dining room to the kitchen, I stopped. Grandma and Grandpa were arguing, which was very unusual. Grandpa thinks he's the boss, but as far as I could remember, he ain't never been right.
I stopped. Not that I was eavesdropping, but it didn't seem right for me to keep going. I heard my grandpa say, "Hell no, I ain't jealous. It's just that I found that note about your boyfriend."
Loudly, my grandma asked, "What in the world are you talking about?"
"Now Louise, I'm not stupid, I found the note. It said, 'Don't forget to pick up Curly Kale.' So, I want to know. Who the hell is Curly Kale?"
I couldn't help myself. I started snickering. From around the corner, I heard my grandma say, "Alright, Rabbit, I know you're in there. Come on around the corner."
Glaring at Grandpa, she said, "Even Rabbit knows about Curly Kale."
"He does? Who is he?"
Giggling, I said, "He ain't no he. It's more like an it. Curly Kale is that green stuff that Grandma makes that's like turnip greens, only better. We had it two nights ago with cornbread and fried pork chops. Between you and me, we ate it all up."
With a sheepish grin, Grandpa said, "I knew that. I was just clowning around." He took another bite of eggs and biscuit. Grandma just rolled her eyes. She did pat me on the head.
When Grandpa left to get ready for work, Grandma sat next to me. She brought her coffee and fixed one for me. Well, I call it coffee, Grandpa calls it cream and sugar with a little coffee for flavor.
"Well, Rabbit, it's your last week here on the farm. We sure are going to miss you."
Her eyes were red and a little misty. I guess she was a bit sad. I felt pretty sad too, but I wasn't going to cry. I'm pretty sure my eyes were red, but I get real bad allergies in late summer, that's all.
"You know, since it's your last week, you don't have to do your chores. I want you to know I've been proud of you all summer. You do your chores each day without complaining or putting them off. You've been a joy."
I sniffled through my allergies before saying, "I want to do my chores. It's what I do, plus I've gotten used to those dumb old chickens. You reckon they're going to miss me?"
With a big old smile, she said, "I reckon they will."
I went out to my job, first feeding the chickens and gathering eggs. I checked in on the brooder room. There were some new chicks I wanted to see. What I saw was strange. The chicks were gone, or at least mostly gone. There were a bunch of feathers and a half of one chick. From their nest, a head backed out, a big old snake head. Rushing out and looking behind the shed, there was a huge snake coiled up. He just looked at me and flitted his tongue in and out.
Running inside to get my grandmother was troublesome. Even though she lived in the country all her life, she was deathly afraid of snakes. They were her chickens though, so I thought she should know. I explained the situation and she came out. It was like though, she had one foot back so she could turn around and run if need be. We crept around to the back of the pen and there that old snake was. It was like he was in no hurry, just sunning himself and looking proud.
Keeping that foot back seemed to work for her. She shrieked, "Good God!" Turning back, she almost ran me over. When we got around to the front of the shed, she said, "Go get Virge to come and kill this snake."
I said, "Grandma, I can kill it if you want. I figure a shovel ought to do the trick."
She quickly said, "No, I want you to go get Virge. He'll know what to do."
I shrugged my shoulders and went to get Virge. His cabin was about a quarter mile away. I ran, which was pretty much what I did all the time anyhow. Virge was on his front porch in his rocking chair. He saw me and said, "Hey, Rabbit, what you in such a big hurry for this morning?"
Catching my breath, I blurted, "A big old snake has gotten into the brood pen and killed some chicks. Grandma wants you to come kill it."
"Rabbit, slow down a bit. Go on over to the hand pump and get yourself a drink of water."
Filling the dipper, I had a nice cool drink.
"Okay, come back and sit on the porch and tell me about this snake."
Sliding my butt onto the step and taking a breath, I began, "It's a big old snake. I bet he's as long as I'm tall."
"Okay, let's talk about what that snake was like. Was his head big and shaped like the head of a shovel?"
"Virge, I gotta tell you, I don't know if it was shaped like a shovel head or not. It was a snake head and it was connected to a snake. Who gives a shit what his head looked like?"
Virge tapped the ashes out of his pipe before sharply saying, "Now, Rabbit, you know that "S" word ain't something you use. I'm just trying to get a feel for what type of snake you got down there. Let me ask you something else. Was he colored up like the ground and leaves, or what?"
Scratching my head, I answered, "He wasn't colored like leaves at all. He was black and had white stripes."
Virge smiled before replying, "That's great. What we got us is an Eastern kingsnake. As far as snakes go, they don't come no better."
"Well, are you going to go down and kill it?"
"No, I ain't going to kill it. God's got a plan for all of his critters. They've all got a place in this world. I've known your grandma all her life and I know she's scared to death of snakes. Her brother played a mean trick on her when she was about six years old. He put a dead snake all coiled up in the outhouse where he knew she would see it. I could hear her scream all way up at my house. I ran down and removed it."
"Did her brother get in trouble?"
Virge laughed. "He sure did. I whopped him with a switch. He ran off and told his daddy. He came out and asked me for my switch and he whopped him too. Maybe the two of us beat some sense in him. He wound up being a pretty good boy."
"What we're going to do is go get that snake. Old Virge would like to have him as a pet. Kingsnakes are smart. Down there, he's eating chicks which ain't good. I'll put him underneath my house. He'll eat rats and mice. They even eat copperheads and other poisonous snakes."
"What you going to do when he eats up all the mice and rats? I don't believe you got a whole bunch of snakes up there."
"That's a good question and I got a good answer. I'll go catch him some rats or mice. The barn is full of them. Shoot, I might even let him sleep over at the barn some time."
"Virge, you say that God's got a plan for all critters, but rats and mice are pretty worthless aren't they?"
"No, they ain't, Rabbit. You just got to understand the circular nature of life."
"I don't get it. How can a rat or mouse be important?"
Virge smiled before replying, "Well, a snakes gotta eat."
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